where you become so confused, hurt, frustrated, disappointed, angry, violated, and more all in one. You don't know if you need to cry or get mad or maybe it is better if you do both. You have this feeling in the pit of your stomach and you don't know why. You can't sleep, you try not to lose your temper, you are just trying to stay strong for those around you. You don't want to believe that it would happen, that they would do that to you but the evidence is in front of your and you have been dealt a betrayal.
What is betrayal? it is also known as backstabbing and it is when there is a break of trust and confidence which causes a conflict in a relationship which in turn can lead to moral and psychological issues. You cannot understand why it happened in this magnitude, what there is accusations made against you and it does not seem right at all.
All you can do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off and continue on down the path you were walking. You know that you can do and that the first step in being able to walk on your own is forgiveness and you have done it. It is something very hard to do and often harder than what it was dealing with that time in your life but it is necessary. You need to remember that it is better to forgive, forget and move on than to hold it inside of you forever always bringing it back up. You cannot change the past, you can only change your future. God is always walking beside and guiding you but during this time of your life, He is actually carrying you.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
Friends
A few years ago a friend gave me a 365 calender that just has dates and sayings on it so you can use it year after year. Today's was "The friend given you by circumstances over which you have no control was God's own gift" by Frederick Robertson. It is true because often you will have someone appear in your life for no reason that makes sense but they become your friend. It could be because you need them at the time or it could be because they need you. These friendships can last forever or be very brief. They can brighten your day, hold you close, help you through thick and thin, make you laugh, and the list continues. Though sometimes you do have to wonder what is a true friend?
That question though was something I came up with today after combining it with the saying from yesterday "Girlfriends are for leaning on, laughing with, and confiding in." As well as something that was mentioned today by someone. Yes you want to confide in a person that you believe is a friend but can you? Can you honestly trust someone that you believe is a friend with just about everything you need to say? Or is the only person you can do that to God? Do you have to keep things hidden from everyone out there? Is is not a place that you want to be in, you do not want to find out that someone you trusted would betray you but unfortunately it does happen. What you have told them in confidence can then be taken by them and told to others or even distorted to become an untruths. You would never want to be in that situation nor do you want to do it to someone yourself. It does happen and unfortunately people are hurt in the process, sometimes it is intentional and other times it is not. I have to have some confidence and trust that I can tell some friends something which will never be repeated. I have to be that way myself in which I keep what each one has told me in confidence as well if that is what is necessary. But when do you draw the line? When do you realize that the trust is broken? When do you realize a friend is not truly a friend? Hopefully you do before it is too late, if not then you live and learn. How you will deal with it? Will you act your age and move on? or will you act like a child again by making it worse? It is part of life is it not, how you handle each situation? You take each situation in its own way, act like an adult, and move on whether the friend is still there or not.
That question though was something I came up with today after combining it with the saying from yesterday "Girlfriends are for leaning on, laughing with, and confiding in." As well as something that was mentioned today by someone. Yes you want to confide in a person that you believe is a friend but can you? Can you honestly trust someone that you believe is a friend with just about everything you need to say? Or is the only person you can do that to God? Do you have to keep things hidden from everyone out there? Is is not a place that you want to be in, you do not want to find out that someone you trusted would betray you but unfortunately it does happen. What you have told them in confidence can then be taken by them and told to others or even distorted to become an untruths. You would never want to be in that situation nor do you want to do it to someone yourself. It does happen and unfortunately people are hurt in the process, sometimes it is intentional and other times it is not. I have to have some confidence and trust that I can tell some friends something which will never be repeated. I have to be that way myself in which I keep what each one has told me in confidence as well if that is what is necessary. But when do you draw the line? When do you realize that the trust is broken? When do you realize a friend is not truly a friend? Hopefully you do before it is too late, if not then you live and learn. How you will deal with it? Will you act your age and move on? or will you act like a child again by making it worse? It is part of life is it not, how you handle each situation? You take each situation in its own way, act like an adult, and move on whether the friend is still there or not.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Time ....Family....Life
where does it go? Because I have no idea where the past month has gone, let alone the past year so, wait let's just go back to the last decade or maybe even farther because I have no idea where it all went. It seems to me that when you are a teenager you want to hurry and grow up but when you get to be an adult you want to slow down at times. You want to take the time and enjoy the music, smell the flowers, marvel at the view and spend time with your loved ones. All I know is that later on this year it will be my 25th High School Reunion and part of me can't wait because many I haven't seen since graduation but the other part is saying Holy Crap 25 years!!
Family...in my house growing up family wasn't just those who were related by blood, it was those around you as well. Friends can be consider family and sometimes you can hold them closer. As my mother was an immigrant to Canada her family was thousands of kilometers/miles away and so they were not seen that often. That meant that during the holidays there was others around us and that made it so interesting. Looking back fondly at those memories I don't know all that happened just that it puts a smile on my face when I think of our neighbors and friends playing the parcel game, Rummoli, bagging pots & pans at New Years, and the list continues. Doing all that prepared me for when I got married to a Navy guy. So many times it wasn't "family" at the holidays but friends. Those friends are so important to me and the kids in our lives at times and I know we are in theirs. We became our own family, our own Ohana, which means family and no one gets left behind.
Life. There is always going to be good times and bad times in your life. At times it will seem like it is taking forever, there is no tomorrow, too many bad times, and no light at the end of the tunnel. That things which are happening to you are not fair and you did nothing wrong, that something came out of nowhere which you never expected. BUT there is the good times which will outweigh the bad, there are things that are fair because justice will prevail, there is a light for there is an end you just might not see it right now, and tomorrow will come you just have to get through today one moment at a time. You can do it, you can survive, for your Ohana is there.
Family...in my house growing up family wasn't just those who were related by blood, it was those around you as well. Friends can be consider family and sometimes you can hold them closer. As my mother was an immigrant to Canada her family was thousands of kilometers/miles away and so they were not seen that often. That meant that during the holidays there was others around us and that made it so interesting. Looking back fondly at those memories I don't know all that happened just that it puts a smile on my face when I think of our neighbors and friends playing the parcel game, Rummoli, bagging pots & pans at New Years, and the list continues. Doing all that prepared me for when I got married to a Navy guy. So many times it wasn't "family" at the holidays but friends. Those friends are so important to me and the kids in our lives at times and I know we are in theirs. We became our own family, our own Ohana, which means family and no one gets left behind.
Life. There is always going to be good times and bad times in your life. At times it will seem like it is taking forever, there is no tomorrow, too many bad times, and no light at the end of the tunnel. That things which are happening to you are not fair and you did nothing wrong, that something came out of nowhere which you never expected. BUT there is the good times which will outweigh the bad, there are things that are fair because justice will prevail, there is a light for there is an end you just might not see it right now, and tomorrow will come you just have to get through today one moment at a time. You can do it, you can survive, for your Ohana is there.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Homework, music, movies, & TV shows
The other day while working on writing out the key words for my sociology class (funnily enough the subject was on Recreation & Leisure in Everyday Life) I was listening to music on my iPod. Not just any music but a mix of the past and much was around the time I would have been doing homework for school but then it was high school. There was Congo by Miami Sound Machine; Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Springsteen; Hit Me With Your Best Shot by Pat Benetar; Shout by Tears for Fears; Walking on Sunshine by Katrina & the Waves; Eye of the Tiger by Survivor; Wanted Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi; and even Good Vibrations by Marky Mark. The list keeps on going to include a little bit of Rock, some Heavy Metal, a bit of Old School and even some Rap. You could even say the line - a little bit of country and a little bit of rock n roll to a point. That is who I am I like a variety of music because I find so many interesting and enjoyable to listen to. Just like I grew up watching Fred Astaire & Ginger Rogers or Indiana Jones or Luke Skywalker, had a crush on Elvis, and listening to the Beach Boys (who if you didn't know are celebrating their 50th Anniversary together and even doing a concert tour which I would LOVE to go to with the kids). It is proved to me in many ways that while we might have been limited in what we could do compared to today's world of media we weren't. Our generation was the one where classics and new things were mixed together without problem. Where it was alright to have an appreciation for a wide variety of music and even movies to watch. Back then in movies they were rated G, PG or R not all the categories they have now. But when in the theaters they lasted for months not a few weeks so had a higher variety of viewers and made more money in the end.
But that time must have been worth a lot because so many movies are now be re-released on DVDs. The bands are still performing (someone I know went to Van Halen and I have seen advertisements for Journey) to sell out crowds of young and old alike. The TV Shows are being made into movies like 21 Jump Street. The teenage actors from then are still going strong like George Clooney who was on Facts of Life; Johnny Depp from 21 Jump Street; Patrick Dempsey now on Grey's Anatomy and in some ways better looking. The question now though is when do we stop trying to bring the past to our present? When do we stop trying to rule the world with memories. When do we turn ourselves forward going down the path in front of us not the one behind us? Yes it is good to have fond memories of what we did, where we went and our friends, but that goes only to a point. Then we are better to try and make new memories where we can Shout while Dancing in the Dark after Walking in Sunshine, Hitting them with our Best Shot, and becoming a Survivor.
But that time must have been worth a lot because so many movies are now be re-released on DVDs. The bands are still performing (someone I know went to Van Halen and I have seen advertisements for Journey) to sell out crowds of young and old alike. The TV Shows are being made into movies like 21 Jump Street. The teenage actors from then are still going strong like George Clooney who was on Facts of Life; Johnny Depp from 21 Jump Street; Patrick Dempsey now on Grey's Anatomy and in some ways better looking. The question now though is when do we stop trying to bring the past to our present? When do we stop trying to rule the world with memories. When do we turn ourselves forward going down the path in front of us not the one behind us? Yes it is good to have fond memories of what we did, where we went and our friends, but that goes only to a point. Then we are better to try and make new memories where we can Shout while Dancing in the Dark after Walking in Sunshine, Hitting them with our Best Shot, and becoming a Survivor.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Who has control of the remote control in your house?
That is a question that is not always asked but should be a basic question. Because it is something that does happen in every household especially when you have children. This little thing that runs on batteries seems to take control over everyone. It starts arguments, it starts disagreements, it starts voices becoming louder, all over what to watch. Every 15 to 30 minutes there is an argument over what to watch next, whether to mute during commercials, and whether to change channels during commercials. why does he get to pick? why does she get to pick? Why, why, why, why. Why does this happen continuously and drive the mother up the wall. How would the children of today survived in our world? You know back in the stone age.
If you are above 40 then you lived in the time where you had 1 TV in the house, it had between 6 to 12 channels and when you wanted to change the channel you had to get up from your couch/chair and do it by a little dial. You also didn't usually eat in front of the TV (unless it was Saturday night when Hockey Night in Canada was on and it was the ONLY night you could) The channels were limited as well, you had the basic news channels, PBS of course that had all children's shows, and then a few others as well and cartoons on Saturday mornings. The shows at night were shows a family could watch - Starsky & Hutch; CHiPs, Charlie's Angels, Dallas, Brady Bunch, Facts of Life, Different Strokes, etc... (Many of which have now been made into movies which can be good but also can be scary).
There is now TOO many TV channels to choose from, too many shows for kids to watch, too many commercials, too many of everything. All boiling down again to the question who controls the remote control. When is it time to put a limit on the amount of TV the kids watch and to influence them in a better way. Making sure they concentrate on homework, make sure they read books, make sure they get out an exercise, make sure you do have family game nights, make sure that the amount of TV they watch is not too much and what TV shows the children watch are good for them.
So this is bringing me back on subject. I AM TAKING CONTROL OF THE REMOTE CONTROL!!! It won't be my son, it won't be my daughter, it will be ME. This also brings up the time limit of TV they will now have. When they have their own TVs and are paying their own bills, then they can get control of their own remote control.
If you are above 40 then you lived in the time where you had 1 TV in the house, it had between 6 to 12 channels and when you wanted to change the channel you had to get up from your couch/chair and do it by a little dial. You also didn't usually eat in front of the TV (unless it was Saturday night when Hockey Night in Canada was on and it was the ONLY night you could) The channels were limited as well, you had the basic news channels, PBS of course that had all children's shows, and then a few others as well and cartoons on Saturday mornings. The shows at night were shows a family could watch - Starsky & Hutch; CHiPs, Charlie's Angels, Dallas, Brady Bunch, Facts of Life, Different Strokes, etc... (Many of which have now been made into movies which can be good but also can be scary).
There is now TOO many TV channels to choose from, too many shows for kids to watch, too many commercials, too many of everything. All boiling down again to the question who controls the remote control. When is it time to put a limit on the amount of TV the kids watch and to influence them in a better way. Making sure they concentrate on homework, make sure they read books, make sure they get out an exercise, make sure you do have family game nights, make sure that the amount of TV they watch is not too much and what TV shows the children watch are good for them.
So this is bringing me back on subject. I AM TAKING CONTROL OF THE REMOTE CONTROL!!! It won't be my son, it won't be my daughter, it will be ME. This also brings up the time limit of TV they will now have. When they have their own TVs and are paying their own bills, then they can get control of their own remote control.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Weight, Food & Serving Size
Food size in the US vs Overseas
Have you noticed how more people in the US are now overweight? It isn’t just adults but children too and it has become a concern of many. I have to admit that I was never skinny growing up but I wasn’t overweight, I was normal. But now I could be smaller, so I am working on it, one small step at a time. I didn’t gain that much weight when I was pregnant I had in fact gained it before I was. It was the convenience of fast food down the street when at home, the constant snacks while eating, pizza, Mrs Fields Cookies, take out from a small restaurant and other things instead of eating better. I could have and should have but I can't change that what I have done in the past. Instead all I can work on is the future. I do eat better now and so do the kids.
But it was also other things and something that has been growing as well in the US which has caused our weight size to grow, the size of plates, cups, bowls, in other words the size of servings. Plates are now at least 12 inches in diameter or larger instead of 10 inches. When you eat pasta at many restaurants it isn’t a standard serving size it is enough for two because it is a plate bowl. The smallest Chicken McNugget meal you can get at McDonalds for an adult is 10 pieces, with medium fries and a drink. So even the drinks are larger, a cup of coffee is no longer a cup of 8 ozs but over double in size. A bottle of soda/pop is now 20 ozs instead of the size of a can which is around 12 ozs. All these things add up and add to our waist. So the question is can you stop when you are full or is that nagging from mom of “Clean your plate, do you know how many starving people there are in Africa/India/China” still in your head? Often it is the later and we feel forced to eat everything on our plate or in our meal. Instead of just saying no and walking away.
The convenience of fast food isn’t just in the US it is also overseas. Most countries have McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Starbucks and every other fast food/name brand product. But while they have those foods and it is affecting some waist lines it isn't going the way it is here in the US. Let me give you an example of what is done in some places. In Singapore they believe in hard work and often it is easier and cheaper to get take out on the way home, especially if when manual labor often means 12 hours shifts 5 and even 6 days a week. So McDonalds delivers to your house, yup you heard it right you can order online or over the phone and within 30 to 45 minutes McDonald’s will be at your door. But isn’t something that should be offered in the US (it is being tested in some areas and I honestly think it is a BIG MISTAKE)and you want to know why? Two words and can you imagine what they are??? SERVING SIZE!! The largest meal that you can order when it comes to Chicken McNuggets is 6 pieces, yup just 6 pieces. The large serving of fries is the US medium and the same with the drink. So they are able to offer it to you but smaller and a better amount to eat. But it isn’t just in Fast Food it is in the size of products you buy overseas. Chickens there is 1/2 the size of what it is in the US. It would take 2 or even 3 pieces of chicken breast in Singapore to equal one in the US. It isn't just in Singapore it is in other areas that I have gone to as well.
What does that mean are in our products? Are those helping us to become overweight too? Why are we forcing ourselves to eat so much more when there isn’t a need because what it is doing to our bodies? Do you really look at the calories listed on the box and understand what the true serving size is? I am so concerned with what this is telling our children and what they are eating and doing. It isn’t just eating but the lack of exercise & playing, instead many are spending time in front the TV watching it or playing video games or online. Yes it is a serious problem in the US and some other countries, and there is varying statistics for how many adults are overweight but it is way more than it was in the 80s and even the 90s. Children are a concern as well because they are heading that way as well. Look at the movie Wall-E because that could be where we are heading. Is that something we really want to be? As I stated I am not the slender person I was before and I have gone up and down over the years never getting back to before. But I am working on it and making sure the kids are as well. Better meals, smaller portions, fast food occasionally but not constantly and never tell the kids “Do you know how many starving people there are in ?????
Have you noticed how more people in the US are now overweight? It isn’t just adults but children too and it has become a concern of many. I have to admit that I was never skinny growing up but I wasn’t overweight, I was normal. But now I could be smaller, so I am working on it, one small step at a time. I didn’t gain that much weight when I was pregnant I had in fact gained it before I was. It was the convenience of fast food down the street when at home, the constant snacks while eating, pizza, Mrs Fields Cookies, take out from a small restaurant and other things instead of eating better. I could have and should have but I can't change that what I have done in the past. Instead all I can work on is the future. I do eat better now and so do the kids.
But it was also other things and something that has been growing as well in the US which has caused our weight size to grow, the size of plates, cups, bowls, in other words the size of servings. Plates are now at least 12 inches in diameter or larger instead of 10 inches. When you eat pasta at many restaurants it isn’t a standard serving size it is enough for two because it is a plate bowl. The smallest Chicken McNugget meal you can get at McDonalds for an adult is 10 pieces, with medium fries and a drink. So even the drinks are larger, a cup of coffee is no longer a cup of 8 ozs but over double in size. A bottle of soda/pop is now 20 ozs instead of the size of a can which is around 12 ozs. All these things add up and add to our waist. So the question is can you stop when you are full or is that nagging from mom of “Clean your plate, do you know how many starving people there are in Africa/India/China” still in your head? Often it is the later and we feel forced to eat everything on our plate or in our meal. Instead of just saying no and walking away.
The convenience of fast food isn’t just in the US it is also overseas. Most countries have McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Starbucks and every other fast food/name brand product. But while they have those foods and it is affecting some waist lines it isn't going the way it is here in the US. Let me give you an example of what is done in some places. In Singapore they believe in hard work and often it is easier and cheaper to get take out on the way home, especially if when manual labor often means 12 hours shifts 5 and even 6 days a week. So McDonalds delivers to your house, yup you heard it right you can order online or over the phone and within 30 to 45 minutes McDonald’s will be at your door. But isn’t something that should be offered in the US (it is being tested in some areas and I honestly think it is a BIG MISTAKE)and you want to know why? Two words and can you imagine what they are??? SERVING SIZE!! The largest meal that you can order when it comes to Chicken McNuggets is 6 pieces, yup just 6 pieces. The large serving of fries is the US medium and the same with the drink. So they are able to offer it to you but smaller and a better amount to eat. But it isn’t just in Fast Food it is in the size of products you buy overseas. Chickens there is 1/2 the size of what it is in the US. It would take 2 or even 3 pieces of chicken breast in Singapore to equal one in the US. It isn't just in Singapore it is in other areas that I have gone to as well.
What does that mean are in our products? Are those helping us to become overweight too? Why are we forcing ourselves to eat so much more when there isn’t a need because what it is doing to our bodies? Do you really look at the calories listed on the box and understand what the true serving size is? I am so concerned with what this is telling our children and what they are eating and doing. It isn’t just eating but the lack of exercise & playing, instead many are spending time in front the TV watching it or playing video games or online. Yes it is a serious problem in the US and some other countries, and there is varying statistics for how many adults are overweight but it is way more than it was in the 80s and even the 90s. Children are a concern as well because they are heading that way as well. Look at the movie Wall-E because that could be where we are heading. Is that something we really want to be? As I stated I am not the slender person I was before and I have gone up and down over the years never getting back to before. But I am working on it and making sure the kids are as well. Better meals, smaller portions, fast food occasionally but not constantly and never tell the kids “Do you know how many starving people there are in ?????
Monday, February 27, 2012
What is abuse?
Abuse is something you never want to talk about, it is something you never want to hear about, and it is something that you swear you will never allow to happen to you. But unfortunately it is something that does happen more frequently than you would imagine and to people you know. What is abuse? When you hear that question you automatically think of being hit, slaps, punches, etc... But it is NOT. Abuse can also include emotion, economical, psychological, verbal and mental. According to the US Office on Violence Against Women (OVW) domestic violence is the "pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner It "can happen to anyone regardless of race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender", and can include physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional, economic, and psychological abuse.
With those in the military sometimes it can stem from what they have gone through especially with multiple deployments and no diagnosis of PTSD. The mood swings, the emotional changes, the expectations, the stress, and everything else can bottle up and come out one day out of no where. There is help if it is needed that you can get what you have to do is take the first step to getting it. You are not alone, it is not your fault, you are not what he/she makes you to be. You can be a better person if you just realize that the best option is to get out of the relationship whether temporary or permanent.
The following information is available on multiple forums/boards and will give you links to where you can get help.
Domestic Violence is not a subject that we like to hear about or go through. Unfortunately it is something that is happening in the military because of several factors including PTSD. There is help out there if you do need it.
Definition of Domestic Violence - is a pattern of many behaviors directed at achieving and maintaining power and control over an intimate partner, such as physical violence, emotional abuse, isolation of the victim, economic abuse, intimidation, and coercion and threats.
If someone is abusing you or someone in your household, you do not have to accept it—even if your spouse is the abuser. The police and courts can help you stop the abuse.
Each branch of the military has a program that can respond to domestic violence cases and is often the first place for members and families in this situation to go before seeking help from the civil or criminal courts. Such programs offer counseling and command involvement for incidents of domestic violence.
If you are in a situation in your marriage where there is domestic violence taking place (which can include economic, verbal, mental, emotional and physical abuse) then there is help.
If you and your spouse live on base (or even if you do not) you may be able to get a Military Protective Order which functions similarly to a protective order issued by civilian authorities. Make sure that the Military Protective Order is forwarded to civilian authorities and any protective orders issued by civilian authorities are forwarded to the Military Police. Both types of orders may be enforceable on and off a military installation depending on how they are prepared and the procedures followed.
http://www.americanbar.org/portals/public_resources/aba_home_front/information_center/family_law/domestic_violence/impact_of_military_service.html - this is a place to start where it will give you some ideas on what can help you.
The following are other links that can help you as well:
http://www.thehotline.org - National Domestic Violence Hotline - this includes a confidential weblink to the site that is protected
http://www.americanbar.org/groups/domestic_violence.html - American Bar Association Commission on Domestic Violence
http://www.ovw.usdog.gov - US Department of Justice Office on Domestic Violence Against Women (just like the phone line confidential and it will not be viewable on your computer history)
With those in the military sometimes it can stem from what they have gone through especially with multiple deployments and no diagnosis of PTSD. The mood swings, the emotional changes, the expectations, the stress, and everything else can bottle up and come out one day out of no where. There is help if it is needed that you can get what you have to do is take the first step to getting it. You are not alone, it is not your fault, you are not what he/she makes you to be. You can be a better person if you just realize that the best option is to get out of the relationship whether temporary or permanent.
The following information is available on multiple forums/boards and will give you links to where you can get help.
Domestic Violence is not a subject that we like to hear about or go through. Unfortunately it is something that is happening in the military because of several factors including PTSD. There is help out there if you do need it.
Definition of Domestic Violence - is a pattern of many behaviors directed at achieving and maintaining power and control over an intimate partner, such as physical violence, emotional abuse, isolation of the victim, economic abuse, intimidation, and coercion and threats.
If someone is abusing you or someone in your household, you do not have to accept it—even if your spouse is the abuser. The police and courts can help you stop the abuse.
Each branch of the military has a program that can respond to domestic violence cases and is often the first place for members and families in this situation to go before seeking help from the civil or criminal courts. Such programs offer counseling and command involvement for incidents of domestic violence.
If you are in a situation in your marriage where there is domestic violence taking place (which can include economic, verbal, mental, emotional and physical abuse) then there is help.
If you and your spouse live on base (or even if you do not) you may be able to get a Military Protective Order which functions similarly to a protective order issued by civilian authorities. Make sure that the Military Protective Order is forwarded to civilian authorities and any protective orders issued by civilian authorities are forwarded to the Military Police. Both types of orders may be enforceable on and off a military installation depending on how they are prepared and the procedures followed.
http://www.americanbar.org/portals/public_resources/aba_home_front/information_center/family_law/domestic_violence/impact_of_military_service.html - this is a place to start where it will give you some ideas on what can help you.
The following are other links that can help you as well:
http://www.thehotline.org - National Domestic Violence Hotline - this includes a confidential weblink to the site that is protected
http://www.americanbar.org/groups/domestic_violence.html - American Bar Association Commission on Domestic Violence
http://www.ovw.usdog.gov - US Department of Justice Office on Domestic Violence Against Women (just like the phone line confidential and it will not be viewable on your computer history)
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