The Friday before Mother's Day is known in the US as Military Spouse Appreciation Day. It means to recognize those who are or even those who were a military spouse. It isn't a paying job it is a lifestyle that sometimes you often have no control over. This means you know all the jobs that a mom/dad has like chauffeur, cook, maid, medic, referee, coach, etc... well add a whole lot more into it like:
1) Moving every few years to a new location anywhere in the world sometimes with less than 30 days notice which means:
2) Packing then unpacking, packing and then unpacking, more packing and unpacking so that means:
3) Having 20 sets of curtains that fit any window, pictures on the wall of every place you have been to, and going from a place that is 900 square feet to 2000 square feet back to 1000 square feet, which in turn means:
4) Having copies of the medical records from who knows how many hospitals and clinics, along with the kids school records from 10 different schools, and who knows how many pounds of paperwork that you got from each residence for changing addresses. That means:
5) Your family and friend's address book now no longer has room for you under your last name and has had to put you in another place because you have had so many addresses they have run out of room. That can mean:
6) When asked where you live you respond by saying "Do you mean where I was born or where I was married? Or maybe do you mean where I lived the longest? Or is it where I was last year? What about where I am actually living now? which means:
7) When trying to find a job it is difficult because there is gaps in your resume with the places that you did only volunteer work, or were a stay at home parent, or just couldn't find a job. You have had a hard time getting an education to because those transcripts you have from the 3 colleges you attended haven't yet amounted to a degree. This in turn means:
8) You know how to shop using coupons, the commissary and the exchange in order to save money because often you are on one income, you belong to coupon exchanges, know 1001 things to do with peanut butter, bread, noodles, soups, no name products, etc... Which means:
9) You have had to adjust your budget at times from a full family to a family minus 1 then back to a full family. Then add in the care packages you send constantly along with the letters and the phone calls. Meaning:
10) You have had to explain to your child(ren) why daddy/mommy isn't home days, weeks and months on end after leaving in the middle of the night; you have had to sleep by yourself trying not to cry; you have had to scramble to be both the mom and the dad; you have had to do all the paperwork, packing, unpacking, and everything else to move on your own. This means:
You are part of an elite group of men and women who have served their countries in a different way by making sure the homefront was kept running so those who were in the military could concentrate on their job. You have made friends who became part of your family. Sometimes they have been with you helping you along the way in person and other times from a distance away. There has been friends who only lasted for a short time while others have been there from the beginning. Some friends you have never met and never will but that doesn't mean they do not care about you any less and will stop giving you support necessary at the time. That is part of not just a group, a FAMILY. A family that is unique, one-of-a-kind, special, there no matter what. That is a family of MILITARY SPOUSES!!
Friday, May 11, 2012
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Last month
Last month, I celebrated an anniversary by myself, an anniversary that is different. It
wasn’t a wedding anniversary, or a first date anniversary or anything
like that. It was 22nd anniversary of life. When I was 20 years old, I
had a cerebral aneurysm, aka a stroke and nearly died. It isn’t something I
really talk about to many people, not everyone knows, I tend to keep it
that way.
But back to the beginning, I had been getting headaches for awhile, especially when playing soccer, one game I took about 8 extra strength Tylenol (played goalie) and nothing worked. A few days later I went to practice and the headache was so bad I threw up numerous times, went home and then mom took me to ER. I was told I had pulled a muscle, given a neck brace, Tylenol with codeine and sent home. Nothing else was done, a few days later I felt fine, took it easy and then played the last soccer game of the season. About 2 weeks later I was out one night with a friend, said to her something along the lines of I don’t feel so well and then collapsed having a seizure. She yelled out for help and was just ignored by all because I guess they thought I was drunk. A young kid helped and told her to go call 911 (cell phones weren’t around then), luckily the ambulance that arrived had EMTs that knew what had happened and took me immediately to the hospital and told the staff there. They handled it well apparently and immediately called for the neuro staff. The main neurosurgeon wasn’t there but out of town doing work in a small town. So they waited before operating for the swelling to go down. It did and I came out of the surgery alright, the surgeon was one of the best in Canada. I laugh when I heard the story later that while I was in ICU they had to strap me down because I would pull the gloves off my hands with my teeth and pull out my IV according to a nurse there (I hated needles then now they don’t phase me) when she finally saw me do it before that they had no idea how it happened. I spent around 3 weeks in the hospital in total which was a miracle in itself, but they figured it was because I was young, in good shape and lots of prayers from around the world. I had minimum recovery time as well, I had to do physiotherapy for awhile but it was speech therapy that took the longest. I knew that when it was pointed out it was a button but said bread instead. In the end it wasn’t my speech therapist that helped me it was playing word games like Boggle and Scrabble that did. I was lucky to still have a job to go back to and lots of support from family and friends.
Why am I talking about this it is I think because of what I see in the US when it comes to medical. While this happened in Canada and I do have problems I have to live with the rest of my life. Lost partial sight in my left eye, required 4 surgeries, and when I am really tired my eye lid droops (trust me they love me for using as an example when it comes to going to opthamologists I am usually their only case, so I become the patient all the interns see so they know what to look for). Just like I will have speech issues at times when I say the wrong word when I know the right one. Or that I have memory issues which does come with age too but in my case it just makes me more forgetful at times. All these things are just ones that I deal with one day at a time, nothing more can be done. I could have sued the hospital because of misdiagnosis and been set for life. I am often asked why I didn’t. My response was because I know that doctors are human. They are not perfect, they make mistakes, and sometimes it is that mistake that helps them learn. My mother was a nurse and so are several friends and even then didn’t think it was that because it showed signs of other things. My own personal doctor then was heartbroken that she didn’t see it herself. Suing the doctor and hospital wouldn’t have accomplished anything, instead what was needed was received instead, an apology. They admitted they were wrong and now could do a better diagnosis of other patients and maybe run more tests if necessary.
So you really have to look at the big picture is suing them worth it? What will be the repercussions in the end? Because often the money that they pay you could instead been used somewhere else. It could have been used to make sure that problem doesn’t happen to anyone else. It could be used to help keep the cost of medical/hospitalization down. Why do you think the costs of medical have risen so much in the US? It is because the doctors and hospitals need to recoup some of that money. They can’t run every test on you and they can’t give always you a correct diagnosis of something that could be 20 different things in the end. But they can make sure that the options are open to you, maybe give you a second or third test because it is lower in cost, and who knows what else. I am not saying that every lawsuit should be stopped, but what I am saying is that sometimes is it really necessary? Sure it might have been preventable but how much did it really damage you as a person? Our society has become so money hungry that often the true purpose is forgotten, life as it is. Is all that money really necessary to have in your pocket? Is it really going to help you get where you want to get? Or is it going to be paid out in huge lawyer fees and medical costs that weren’t there before? Having a bigger house or a fancy car? Having relatives you didn’t know you had come out of the wood work? You honestly have to look and decide what is better for you as a person, sometimes you just have to let it go and move on. Letting that be in the past and move on towards a better future not just for yourself, but for others as well.
But back to the beginning, I had been getting headaches for awhile, especially when playing soccer, one game I took about 8 extra strength Tylenol (played goalie) and nothing worked. A few days later I went to practice and the headache was so bad I threw up numerous times, went home and then mom took me to ER. I was told I had pulled a muscle, given a neck brace, Tylenol with codeine and sent home. Nothing else was done, a few days later I felt fine, took it easy and then played the last soccer game of the season. About 2 weeks later I was out one night with a friend, said to her something along the lines of I don’t feel so well and then collapsed having a seizure. She yelled out for help and was just ignored by all because I guess they thought I was drunk. A young kid helped and told her to go call 911 (cell phones weren’t around then), luckily the ambulance that arrived had EMTs that knew what had happened and took me immediately to the hospital and told the staff there. They handled it well apparently and immediately called for the neuro staff. The main neurosurgeon wasn’t there but out of town doing work in a small town. So they waited before operating for the swelling to go down. It did and I came out of the surgery alright, the surgeon was one of the best in Canada. I laugh when I heard the story later that while I was in ICU they had to strap me down because I would pull the gloves off my hands with my teeth and pull out my IV according to a nurse there (I hated needles then now they don’t phase me) when she finally saw me do it before that they had no idea how it happened. I spent around 3 weeks in the hospital in total which was a miracle in itself, but they figured it was because I was young, in good shape and lots of prayers from around the world. I had minimum recovery time as well, I had to do physiotherapy for awhile but it was speech therapy that took the longest. I knew that when it was pointed out it was a button but said bread instead. In the end it wasn’t my speech therapist that helped me it was playing word games like Boggle and Scrabble that did. I was lucky to still have a job to go back to and lots of support from family and friends.
Why am I talking about this it is I think because of what I see in the US when it comes to medical. While this happened in Canada and I do have problems I have to live with the rest of my life. Lost partial sight in my left eye, required 4 surgeries, and when I am really tired my eye lid droops (trust me they love me for using as an example when it comes to going to opthamologists I am usually their only case, so I become the patient all the interns see so they know what to look for). Just like I will have speech issues at times when I say the wrong word when I know the right one. Or that I have memory issues which does come with age too but in my case it just makes me more forgetful at times. All these things are just ones that I deal with one day at a time, nothing more can be done. I could have sued the hospital because of misdiagnosis and been set for life. I am often asked why I didn’t. My response was because I know that doctors are human. They are not perfect, they make mistakes, and sometimes it is that mistake that helps them learn. My mother was a nurse and so are several friends and even then didn’t think it was that because it showed signs of other things. My own personal doctor then was heartbroken that she didn’t see it herself. Suing the doctor and hospital wouldn’t have accomplished anything, instead what was needed was received instead, an apology. They admitted they were wrong and now could do a better diagnosis of other patients and maybe run more tests if necessary.
So you really have to look at the big picture is suing them worth it? What will be the repercussions in the end? Because often the money that they pay you could instead been used somewhere else. It could have been used to make sure that problem doesn’t happen to anyone else. It could be used to help keep the cost of medical/hospitalization down. Why do you think the costs of medical have risen so much in the US? It is because the doctors and hospitals need to recoup some of that money. They can’t run every test on you and they can’t give always you a correct diagnosis of something that could be 20 different things in the end. But they can make sure that the options are open to you, maybe give you a second or third test because it is lower in cost, and who knows what else. I am not saying that every lawsuit should be stopped, but what I am saying is that sometimes is it really necessary? Sure it might have been preventable but how much did it really damage you as a person? Our society has become so money hungry that often the true purpose is forgotten, life as it is. Is all that money really necessary to have in your pocket? Is it really going to help you get where you want to get? Or is it going to be paid out in huge lawyer fees and medical costs that weren’t there before? Having a bigger house or a fancy car? Having relatives you didn’t know you had come out of the wood work? You honestly have to look and decide what is better for you as a person, sometimes you just have to let it go and move on. Letting that be in the past and move on towards a better future not just for yourself, but for others as well.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Online Forums/Group Friends
You can make friends through this groups and forums as well. Some you already have met and it grows from there; others you will meet at one place or another; while others you will be nothing more than online friends and never get the chance to really know each other. I have friends in all 3 categories. I have become reacquainted with girls & guys I knew before and had the chance to meet again. Other ones I have gotten the opportunity to meet and become even better friends with, friends we will be for life. The final ones I have known for years but never have and probably never will meet them. But that doesn’t change the way we feel about each other and what we mean to each other. We are part of a group, a special group that is there for each other no matter what, through thick and thin, good times and bad, a shoulder to cry on when something happens and a person to applaud when an accomplishment is made. These friends have helped me a lot over the years and I have helped them I hope. Sometimes it can just take that little bit of encouragement to help you or them feel better, the right thing to say, the necessary information, just an online expression like a happy face or a joke to make you laugh.
These friends can be in your life for a short time and other times they can be in there for long time even for life. They can be younger or older than you. They can be closer to you than your own family even tough they have no blood or marriage relation to you at all.
They are part of a sisterhood, your sisters
Monday, May 7, 2012
Coupons
Yes I said that dreaded word. The one that some people think is weird, that it create nightmares, it is too much of a problem, too much work. but others swear by. I am one of the others, I do believe in coupons. But that belief is not something that is new, it is something that I have been doing for years and years. But before you rush to assumptions read the following first:
1) I am NOT an Extreme Couponer
2) I do NOT have this huge binder that takes up half the cart I have a little holder that fits into my purse
3) I do NOT jump into garbage containers/bins in order to find coupons
4) I do NOT spend 40 hours a week looking through coupons
5) I do NOT buy things that I have no need for (ie diapers when my youngest is 10)
6) I do NOT have a closet, garage or anything else where I store 20 million products for the next year
7) I am NOT one who get tons of things for free or money back.
I have no idea how some of the people who are out there are able to get away with it. They should not be able to double up on coupons (place I live does not do that at all); they should not be able to buy out all the product when they have no need for it; and then the big question is why. As in why do they do it? Why do they need so much stuff? Why do they spend so much time. Now I am not saying it is wrong, because there are people who do it for the good in which they give the things away, but there are others out there who I swear will be on the show Hoarders within the next 2 years because of what they are buying when they have no need for it all.
When I use my coupons I at least try to cover the sales tax (surcharge when shopping at the commissary). The most I have been able to save is around $40 on a bill that was originally $200 so there I saved some. But never more than that because most of the coupons I see in the paper each week are for products that I don't need at all. Okay I have to admit a few times I have gotten a few extra of products that I know I am going to need but not enough to fill up a closet or my cupboards/pantry. It is more along the lines of 3 or 4 extra packages of scalloped potatoes, or maybe 6 boxes of jell-o, or maybe a few bottles of hot dog relish, etc.... but that's it I swear.
So how are you all when it comes to coupons? Do you even use them? Are you an extreme couponer?
1) I am NOT an Extreme Couponer
2) I do NOT have this huge binder that takes up half the cart I have a little holder that fits into my purse
3) I do NOT jump into garbage containers/bins in order to find coupons
4) I do NOT spend 40 hours a week looking through coupons
5) I do NOT buy things that I have no need for (ie diapers when my youngest is 10)
6) I do NOT have a closet, garage or anything else where I store 20 million products for the next year
7) I am NOT one who get tons of things for free or money back.
I have no idea how some of the people who are out there are able to get away with it. They should not be able to double up on coupons (place I live does not do that at all); they should not be able to buy out all the product when they have no need for it; and then the big question is why. As in why do they do it? Why do they need so much stuff? Why do they spend so much time. Now I am not saying it is wrong, because there are people who do it for the good in which they give the things away, but there are others out there who I swear will be on the show Hoarders within the next 2 years because of what they are buying when they have no need for it all.
When I use my coupons I at least try to cover the sales tax (surcharge when shopping at the commissary). The most I have been able to save is around $40 on a bill that was originally $200 so there I saved some. But never more than that because most of the coupons I see in the paper each week are for products that I don't need at all. Okay I have to admit a few times I have gotten a few extra of products that I know I am going to need but not enough to fill up a closet or my cupboards/pantry. It is more along the lines of 3 or 4 extra packages of scalloped potatoes, or maybe 6 boxes of jell-o, or maybe a few bottles of hot dog relish, etc.... but that's it I swear.
So how are you all when it comes to coupons? Do you even use them? Are you an extreme couponer?
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Time
where does it go? I have no idea, it seems to go by so quickly. You get all these ideas and dreams of what you want to do, what you want to see, where you want to go, but it never works out that way at all. I had this great idea not once but twice about blogging and I seem to start doing it so well and then I fail, I don't do it as often as I should. Topic ideas seem to come but then quickly fade. I wish in some ways that I still could write the way I could when I was a teenager. Then I wrote so much whether it poetry or stories but now it seems to be blocked at times but alright in others.
Time also passes in other ways because you watch those around you change, my daughter turned 10 this week and I can't believe it. Just like I can't believe my son is 13, that 2 of my nieces are graduating high school next month. And I hate saying this but in the summer it will be my 25th High School Reunion. WAHHHHH I can't believe I graduated from high school 25 years ago. Funnily enough the teachers were work to rule meaning no sports, no dances, almost no grad. One of my nieces is going through the same thing. This then marks no change really because they are still taking things away from the children who have done nothing wrong in order to make a statement. Why did we have to take it? Why do the kids today have to take it? That isn't right at all, it isn't the students fault it is the adults who are acting like children throwing a hissy fit's fault. They need to grow up and remember what it would have been like if it had happened to them or if it did happen to them. It was suggested years ago when the teachers went work to rule about playing a rugby game, then a soccer game on the front lawn of Parliament. In order for those politicians to get off their high horses and do something. Well maybe it is sad to say it be considered again.
Okay I need to get away from that and remind myself of what this is truly about and that is making sure that you do take the time that you have and spend it wisely.
Time also passes in other ways because you watch those around you change, my daughter turned 10 this week and I can't believe it. Just like I can't believe my son is 13, that 2 of my nieces are graduating high school next month. And I hate saying this but in the summer it will be my 25th High School Reunion. WAHHHHH I can't believe I graduated from high school 25 years ago. Funnily enough the teachers were work to rule meaning no sports, no dances, almost no grad. One of my nieces is going through the same thing. This then marks no change really because they are still taking things away from the children who have done nothing wrong in order to make a statement. Why did we have to take it? Why do the kids today have to take it? That isn't right at all, it isn't the students fault it is the adults who are acting like children throwing a hissy fit's fault. They need to grow up and remember what it would have been like if it had happened to them or if it did happen to them. It was suggested years ago when the teachers went work to rule about playing a rugby game, then a soccer game on the front lawn of Parliament. In order for those politicians to get off their high horses and do something. Well maybe it is sad to say it be considered again.
Okay I need to get away from that and remind myself of what this is truly about and that is making sure that you do take the time that you have and spend it wisely.
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