A Special Aunt Remembered - My oh my

Ruth Silverson Nelson McKay Lumbert is a very long name but she fit it.  Aunty Ruth aka Aunty Rufus was the 7th of 8 children and the last of her generation to pass away in my dad's family and she did so at the age of 98.  Her and Uncle Edwin had no children but all her nieces and nephews were her children.  She looked after each and everyone one of us in her own way.  She influenced us as well and showed us what was possible.  She gave us so many fond memories that we looked upon and laughed about yesterday at and after her funeral.   Yesterday I finally had the chance to meet some cousins that I had no met yet and do the drive up to Bellingham for her funeral.  During the trip we compared the memories and many of them were the same.  My parents came down for it as well and then afterwards along with her long time friend Paul and his wife we went out to lunch at one of her favorite places.  As we entered all dressed up the waitress asked me what was the occasion? I answered a celebration.  A celebration of life and briefly explained that we had just had our great aunt's funeral and were there to remember her.  Which we definitely did as we laughed and smiled over the meal.  We were celebrating her life and this was the way she would have wanted it. 

I have not shed a tear until now for a woman that made a very large impact on my life..  But as I write this the realization that she is no longer gracing our world and our lives with her presence the tears have started to fall.  I have regrets that I had not seen her in years and that she had not seen the kids either, but I believe that is because I did not want to see her in a nursing home she had been placed in. Part of me I think, did not want to admit she was getting older, that while the sparkle could have still been in her eyes and she could still make us laugh I wanted my final image of her to be who she was before.  The fantastic woman who lived in that little old house on Alderwood, packed to the rafters with linens and other treasures, tea cups & spoons from around the world, listened to the Seattle Mariners game playing a game, us sitting at the table playing crib (with Uncle Edwin smacking the hand if you touched the cards before they were finished being dealt),  the Fruit Loops in the cupboard hidden away and the shelves of the garage stocked with all the canned & bottled goods she had and we meaned STOCKED especially with those dill pickles she was famous for.  

The memory of the station wagon that I swear was really where Tim Horton's got the saying "filled to the rim" because it was, every time she came to visit us.  Of which we have no idea how she did it without getting caught because she could look straight at the Custom's guy in Blaine and say answer the question of "Do you have anything to declare?" with "No".  When she arrived it was like us kids had struck gold, for she brought up so many treats including the legendary huge Hershey chocolate bars that we could not get in Canada, clothes, school supplies, and who knows what else.  Then there was some of those goods from her garage, dill pickles, sauerkraut, dill pickles,  jams, dill pickles, red cabbage pickles, dill pickles, salmon, dill pickles green beans, and did I mean dill pickles? Her pickles were famous, everyone knows about them that knows her or us.  There is no comparison to them at all and no one can come close, even though I have the recipe for them it isn't the same.

Through Aunty Ruth I got the love of baseball.  She was a die hard Seattle Mariners fan the true fan that every team wishes they had, never letting go no matter what.  From the time they started up she had listened to every game or watched if it was on TV.  While listening/watching she kept stats on every play as it took place up until several years ago when she started to lose her sight.  She had the chance several times to go down and watch them live which she thought was the cat's meow.  Apparently behind her bed at the nursing home was a sign that said something along the lines of do not disturb when a game was on.  Ironically yesterday the Mariners played a game and it was right after her funeral they did not win which would have been nice, but what they did do was announce the trade of the long standing Mariner Inchiro to the New York Yankees who just happened to be playing that day.  I think in some ways it was a good thing it didn't happen until after she was laid to rest because I don't think she would have been happy at all... OR maybe she was and this was part of her last say in things as that is usually what she wanted and got!

So Aunty Ruth, you will be missed greatly but I want to say thank you for everything that you have done for us.  You will always be remembered when we buy the Hershey's bars (which my brother wants every time he comes here, or one of us goes up there); have a spoonful of Fruit Loops; compare the dill pickles to yours; use a recipe from your book; listen to the Seattle Mariners only to name a few.  I'm sure that Dave Neihaus was waiting for you to get there, so you could compare notes and watch the Mariners place at Safeco from the best seat in the house........My oh my!

Facts of Life

Hard to believe but 30 years ago the TV Show with that name was on and lasted almost a decade.  There was Blair, Jo, Tootie and Natalie who were from very different walks of life but came together in the end under the supervision of Mrs Garrett.  I am watching it now and laughing at their antics because I can remember it like it was yesterday.  I remember all the fights they had, the problems, the boyfriends, their adventures. They talked about book banning; the snobs and the people from the wrong side of town working together as well as dealing with each other; those who had a disability such as Geri who had CP; divorced parents and new marriages; death in the family; and even abortion are all things that people can go through as they grow up.  They would have to make decisions that could change their lives forever or affect friends and family.  

Then you saw Jo and Blair graduate from Eastland but it did not mean the girls were apart.  In fact they stayed together in the end because Mrs. Garrett decided to leave Eastland herself and open her own store.  Allowing Natalie and Tootie to become day students instead and all help with the store.  Through all the years we watched other celebrities come in and out such as George Clooney, Megan Follows (Anne of Green Gables), David Spade, and Cloris Leachman adding more to it.

It became one of the top TV programs watched by families and is now seen on various channels and I am glad.  Because those facts of life that the girls were dealing with then are still things that people, especially teenagers deal with today.   Maybe it is time that instead of having to search for reruns of shows we grew up with to watch, there is new shows instead.  Maybe it is time for the major networks like NBC, ABC and CBS to bring back shows that bring families together.  Forget reality, forget crime, forget soap operas, bring back family shows!

Book store vs Kindle/Nook

I guess am old fashioned meaning I believe the best way to read a book is to have it in your hand, being able to flip the pages, turn down a page corner, have it on your bookshelf, and read it 20 million times.  I will go to the bookstore or regular store and browse through the titles, I will go to the library and check out multiple books for free, and I will go to the used book store and look for both new and old titles.  Yesterday I found out something that is unfortunately happening in today's world...my favorite used bookstore is closing its doors at the end of the month because of technology.  The Kindles & Nooks are putting these places out of business.  I just dont understand why.  I mean I do understand but do people not realize that this is what is hurting our economy.  Yes I will admit that I do have a "kindle" but it came on my iPhone and that will be as far as it gets. Okay I admit I use it occasionally to download free books and there is a few books I wanted that were only available on Kindle/Nook.  But I wont go out to spend $100 to $200 on a piece of technology and then have to spend more on books.  Nor do I think the kids need one so I won't buy it.  If they receive it as a gift then great,I won't return it, but I still prefer my kids to actually have paper bounded in their hands.  I even have them reading older books that I found over the years that grace my bookshelf.  Some of those are classics and will never go to be on Kindle/Nook.  I love looking at the old Atlases and seeing how borders have changed over the years. I like seeing old textbooks that some people I know used when they were in school.  I like laughing at some of the Etiquette books from yesteryear with part of me wishing some of those ideals would come back again. 

Why do people want to get rid of some of the things that have been around without question or problems for years?  Why are you frowned upon if you don't have it? Why do you need to have the latest and greatest in technology even when the "older" one still works fine? What is then wrong with being old fashioned?  I will agree with the idea that sometimes technology is great and I don't doubt it, but there also should be a limit to where it can take us and turn us into. For some reason I wonder if the Disney movie Wall-E wasn't really predicting what we are turning ourselves into?

So for as long as I can  I will shy away from Kindle/Nook (as I typed it a commercial came on for Nooks), I will buy those books to put on my bookshelves, I will support the local libraries (for what will happen to them if everything goes electronic?) and I will definitely continue to buy from the local used bookstores. 

Various Notes

Haven't posted recently well just because.  There is no valid reason why I shouldn't be better at doing it because I have had plenty of opportunity just didn't do it. So again I will make myself do it and come up with some better things to talk about as well which fit the title.

College, it is hard, point blank, especially when you are trying to get your Bachelors within a short period of time so you are cramming as many classes as you can.  It doesn't help that you are doing 2 colleges at the same time so when one semester is winding down and final projects plus exams are due, the other college is starting up.  So I have been stressed out, freaked out and now definitely have to color my hair to get out those greys which popped up within the past few weeks.  But that being said I am glad that I am back to school.  Some things have changed and other things have not.  It is allowing me though to realize what I can do and where I can help others.  I know that I have been lucky because I have some incredible professors who are showing me different things and pushing me to where I need to go.

When you are over 40 and think you are getting older yourself you need to remind yourself that if you are then that means your parents are as well.  This month my mom turns 84 and my dad turns 80 (yes I was the after, after, after thought - mom was in her 40s when I was born) and while on both sides of the family those who are senior citizens are very stubborn and refuse to die they will sometime.  So when you have a chance tell them thank you.  Thank you for giving birth to you, raising you, fixing your boo-boos, wiping away the tears, teaching you to ride a bike, helping you to do your homework,  just being there and everything else. You do not know how much longer they will be around so be glad they are.

Was on a diet and then fell off of it and so I need to get back on again.  Another thing that has happened with no valid reason or excuse.  I should have just not stopped doing it so now I am pushing myself to get back on and get into shape as well.   GET GOING CHICK!!!  Cleaning you need to get going on that one as well, you did have some reason on that because of homework but now the final exams and projects for the other college are done so GET GOING CHICK!!!  Then falls in organization and getting rid of stuff because you can do that as well.  Do I need to say it a third time???

Movies what is up with these sequels, remakes and similar plot lines and garbage they are coming out with? Why do we need 2 Snow Whites coming out within a short time of each other? Why did they need to make a movie over the came Battleship?  Why do they need a Men in Black 3? Spiderman who knows what? and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter...Really? Really? Really?  Now I am not saying that some of them should not be coming out because I am can tell you that I am going to be one of the first in line for Expendables 2 because I LOVE a genuine kick-butt movie.  Especially when it has the classic action figures in it - Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, Arnie, Bruce Willis....

That being said if you haven't seen Avenger - GO SEE IT.  Went to it again yesterday with a friend because I needed at break from my homework.   Make sure you stay for the 2 extra pieces, well at least 1.  It is a good movie, with the action and comedy you want, plus the eye candy to look at definitely adds in a bonus.  Thor, Captain America and Hawkeye you can rescue me anytime you want ;)

Military Spouse Appreciation Day

The Friday before Mother's Day is known in the US as Military Spouse Appreciation Day.  It means to recognize those who are or even those who were a military spouse.  It isn't a paying job it is a lifestyle that sometimes you often have no control over.  This means you know all the jobs that a mom/dad has like chauffeur, cook, maid, medic, referee, coach, etc... well add a whole lot more into it like:


1) Moving every few years to a new location anywhere in the world sometimes with less than 30 days notice which means:

2) Packing then unpacking, packing and then unpacking, more packing and unpacking so that means:

3) Having 20 sets of curtains that fit any window, pictures on the wall of every place you have been to, and going from a place that is 900 square feet to 2000 square feet back to 1000 square feet,  which in turn means:

4) Having copies of the medical records from who knows how many hospitals and clinics, along with the kids school records from 10 different schools, and who knows how many pounds of paperwork that you got from each residence for changing addresses.  That means:

5) Your family and friend's address book now no longer has room for you under your last name and has had to put you in another place because you have had so many addresses they have run out of room.  That can mean:

6) When asked where you live you respond by saying "Do you mean where I was born or where I was married? Or maybe do you mean where I lived the longest? Or is it where I was last year? What about where I am actually living now?  which means:

7)  When trying to find a job it is difficult because there is gaps in your resume with the places that you did only volunteer work, or were a stay at home parent, or just couldn't find a job. You have had a hard time getting an education to because those transcripts you have from the 3 colleges you attended haven't yet amounted to a degree.  This in turn means:

8) You know how to shop using coupons, the commissary and the exchange in order to save money because often you are on one income, you belong to coupon exchanges, know 1001 things to do with peanut butter, bread, noodles, soups, no name products, etc...  Which means:

9) You have had to adjust your budget at times from a full family to a family minus 1 then back to a full family.  Then add in the care packages you send constantly along with the letters and the phone calls.  Meaning:

10) You have had to explain to your child(ren) why daddy/mommy isn't home days, weeks and months on end after leaving in the middle of the night; you have had to sleep by yourself trying not to cry; you have had to scramble to be both the mom and the dad; you have had to do all the paperwork, packing, unpacking, and everything else to move on your own.  This means:

You are part of an elite group of men and women who have served their countries in a different way by making sure the homefront was kept running so those who were in the military could concentrate on their job.  You have made friends who became part of your family.  Sometimes they have been with you helping you along the way in person and other times from a distance away.  There has been friends who only lasted for a short time while others have been there from the beginning.  Some friends you have never met and never will but that doesn't mean they do not care about you any less and will stop giving you support necessary at the time.  That is part of not just a group, a FAMILY.  A family that is unique, one-of-a-kind, special, there no matter what.   That is a family of MILITARY SPOUSES!!

Last month

Last month, I celebrated an anniversary by myself, an anniversary that is different.  It wasn’t a wedding anniversary, or a first date anniversary or anything like that. It was 22nd anniversary of life. When I was 20 years old, I had a cerebral aneurysm, aka a stroke and nearly died. It isn’t something I really talk about to many people, not everyone knows, I tend to keep it that way.

But back to the beginning, I had been getting headaches for awhile, especially when playing soccer, one game I took about 8 extra strength Tylenol (played goalie) and nothing worked. A few days later I went to practice and the headache was so bad I threw up numerous times, went home and then mom took me to ER. I was told I had pulled a muscle, given a neck brace, Tylenol with codeine and sent home. Nothing else was done, a few days later I felt fine, took it easy and then played the last soccer game of the season. About 2 weeks later I was out one night with a friend, said to her something along the lines of I don’t feel so well and then collapsed having a seizure. She yelled out for help and was just ignored by all because I guess they thought I was drunk. A young kid helped and told her to go call 911 (cell phones weren’t around then), luckily the ambulance that arrived had EMTs that knew what had happened and took me immediately to the hospital and told the staff there. They handled it well apparently and immediately called for the neuro staff. The main neurosurgeon wasn’t there but out of town doing work in a small town. So they waited before operating for the swelling to go down. It did and I came out of the surgery alright, the surgeon was one of the best in Canada. I laugh when I heard the story later that while I was in ICU they had to strap me down because I would pull the gloves off my hands with my teeth and pull out my IV according to a nurse there (I hated needles then now they don’t phase me) when she finally saw me do it before that they had no idea how it happened. I spent around 3 weeks in the hospital in total which was a miracle in itself, but they figured it was because I was young, in good shape and lots of prayers from around the world. I had minimum recovery time as well, I had to do physiotherapy for awhile but it was speech therapy that took the longest. I knew that when it was pointed out it was a button but said bread instead. In the end it wasn’t my speech therapist that helped me it was playing word games like Boggle and Scrabble that did. I was lucky to still have a job to go back to and lots of support from family and friends.

Why am I talking about this it is I think because of what I see in the US when it comes to medical. While this happened in Canada and I do have problems I have to live with the rest of my life. Lost partial sight in my left eye, required 4 surgeries, and when I am really tired my eye lid droops  (trust me they love me for using as an example when it comes to going to opthamologists I am usually their only case, so I become the patient all the interns see so they know what to look for).  Just like I will have speech issues at times when I say the wrong word when I know the right one.  Or that I have memory issues which does come with age too but in my case it just makes me more forgetful at times. All these things are just ones that I deal with one day at a time, nothing more can be done.   I could have sued the hospital because of misdiagnosis and been set for life. I am often asked why I didn’t. My response was because I know that doctors are human. They are not perfect, they make mistakes, and sometimes it is that mistake that helps them learn. My mother was a nurse and so are several friends and even then didn’t think it was that because it showed signs of other things. My own personal doctor then was heartbroken that she didn’t see it herself. Suing the doctor and hospital wouldn’t have accomplished anything, instead what was needed was received instead, an apology. They admitted they were wrong and now could do a better diagnosis of other patients and maybe run more tests if necessary.

So you really have to look at the big picture is suing them worth it? What will be the repercussions in the end? Because often the money that they pay you could instead been used somewhere else. It could have been used to make sure that problem doesn’t happen to anyone else. It could be used to help keep the cost of medical/hospitalization down. Why do you think the costs of medical have risen so much in the US? It is because the doctors and hospitals need to recoup some of that money. They can’t run every test on you and they can’t give always you a correct diagnosis of something that could be 20 different things in the end. But they can make sure that the options are open to you, maybe give you a second or third test because it is lower in cost, and who knows what else. I am not saying that every lawsuit should be stopped, but what I am saying is that sometimes is it really necessary? Sure it might have been preventable but how much did it really damage you as a person? Our society has become so money hungry that often the true purpose is forgotten, life as it is. Is all that money really necessary to have in your pocket? Is it really going to help you get where you want to get? Or is it going to be paid out in huge lawyer fees and medical costs that weren’t there before? Having a bigger house or a fancy car? Having relatives you didn’t know you had come out of the wood work? You honestly have to look and decide what is better for you as a person, sometimes you just have to let it go and move on. Letting that be in the past and move on towards a better future not just for yourself, but for others as well.

Online Forums/Group Friends

Do you belong to one? Specifically military ones? Some have come and gone, others have gone through changes and reconstruction, while others have just stayed the same. All in all I have belonged to a lot over the years, I started out with Yahoo groups but even those have gone by the wayside, now it seems that forums are the place to be and get information. You can gain a lot of information and make friends through these places, but you can also lose friends and make enemies. Yes some are gossip sessions and a fight might start between a few posters, but others while have their ups and downs are the best place to be. You can gain so much information from them from PCSing itself, to pay matters, to an actual base/post/city, to the latest news, branch specific questions and everything in between. There is several online forums that are major and have large groups of people on them, mainly spouses in a few and Active, Reservist or Retirees in others. They have grown and fallen and then rebuilt again. But the information you can get has never stopped it is still there.

You can make friends through this groups and forums as well. Some you already have met and it grows from there; others you will meet at one place or another; while others you will be nothing more than online friends and never get the chance to really know each other. I have friends in all 3 categories. I have become reacquainted with girls & guys I knew before and had the chance to meet again. Other ones I have gotten the opportunity to meet and become even better friends with, friends we will be for life. The final ones I have known for years but never have and probably never will meet them. But that doesn’t change the way we feel about each other and what we mean to each other. We are part of a group, a special group that is there for each other no matter what, through thick and thin, good times and bad, a shoulder to cry on when something happens and a person to applaud when an accomplishment is made. These friends have helped me a lot over the years and I have helped them I hope. Sometimes it can just take that little bit of encouragement to help you or them feel better, the right thing to say, the necessary information, just an online expression like a happy face or a joke to make you laugh.

These friends can be in your life for a short time and other times they can be in there for long time even for life. They can be younger or older than you. They can be closer to you than your own family even tough they have no blood or marriage relation to you at all.

They are part of a sisterhood, your sisters

Coupons

Yes I said that dreaded word. The one that some people think is weird, that it create nightmares, it is too much of a problem, too much work. but others swear by. I am one of the others, I do believe in coupons. But that belief is not something that is new, it is something that I have been doing for years and years. But before you rush to assumptions read the following first:

1) I am NOT an Extreme Couponer
2) I do NOT have this huge binder that takes up half the cart I have a little holder that fits into my purse
3) I do NOT jump into garbage containers/bins in order to find coupons
4) I do NOT spend 40 hours a week looking through coupons
5) I do NOT buy things that I have no need for (ie diapers when my youngest is 10)
6) I do NOT have a closet, garage or anything else where I store 20 million products for the next year
7) I am NOT one who get tons of things for free or money back. 

I have no idea how some of the people who are out there are able to get away with it. They should not be able to double up on coupons (place I live does not do that at all); they should not be able to buy out all the product when they have no need for it; and then the big question is why.  As in why do they do it? Why do they need so much stuff? Why do they spend so much time.  Now I am not saying it is wrong, because there are people who do it for the good in which they give the things away, but there are others out there who I swear will be on the show Hoarders within the next 2 years because of what they are buying when they have no need for it all.  

When I use my coupons I at least try to cover the sales tax (surcharge when shopping at the commissary).  The most I have been able to save is around $40 on a bill that was originally $200 so there I saved some. But never more than that because most of the coupons I see in the paper each week are for products that I don't need at all.  Okay I have to admit a few times I have gotten a few extra of products that I know I am going to need but not enough to fill up a closet or my cupboards/pantry. It is more along the lines of 3 or 4 extra packages of scalloped potatoes, or maybe 6 boxes of jell-o, or maybe a few bottles of hot dog relish, etc.... but that's it I swear. 

So how are you all when it comes to coupons? Do you even use them? Are you an extreme couponer?

Time

where does it go? I have no idea, it seems to go by so quickly. You get all these ideas and dreams of what you want to do, what you want to see, where you want to go, but it never works out that way at all. I had this great idea not once but twice about blogging and I seem to start doing it so well and then I fail, I don't do it as often as I should. Topic ideas seem to come but then quickly fade. I wish in some ways that I still could write the way I could when I was a teenager. Then I wrote so much whether it poetry or stories but now it seems to be blocked at times but alright in others.

Time also passes in other ways because you watch those around you change, my daughter turned 10 this week and I can't believe it. Just like I can't believe my son is 13, that 2 of my nieces are graduating high school next month. And I hate saying this but in the summer it will be my 25th High School Reunion. WAHHHHH I can't believe I graduated from high school 25 years ago. Funnily enough the teachers were work to rule meaning no sports, no dances, almost no grad. One of my nieces is going through the same thing. This then marks no change really because they are still taking things away from the children who have done nothing wrong in order to make a statement. Why did we have to take it? Why do the kids today have to take it? That isn't right at all, it isn't the students fault it is the adults who are acting like children throwing a hissy fit's fault. They need to grow up and remember what it would have been like if it had happened to them or if it did happen to them. It was suggested years ago when the teachers went work to rule about playing a rugby game, then a soccer game on the front lawn of Parliament. In order for those politicians to get off their high horses and do something. Well maybe it is sad to say it be considered again.

Okay I need to get away from that and remind myself of what this is truly about and that is making sure that you do take the time that you have and spend it wisely.

Teenage Romance books

Do you remember them? I do and in fact still have a few of them that I decided to keep in case one day I had a young girl to read them. There was the Sweet Hearts Romance, First Love from Silhouette, Wildfire, Crosswinds and Keepsake to name a few. Then there was the Dawn of Love that were historical fiction.

They were nice because they dealt with every day life that is still existent in today's world just a little more technology added in. The girls came in all shapes and sizes, cultures, family size, they were not always in the top social group in school, they had brains and used them, they had hard times and heart break. The girls often finding their first crush and something that we dreamed would work out in the end and they would go on to have a happy life. Just like what we wanted for ourselves. I realized when reading these books that they were normal, coming from all walks of life and often dealing with the same things that I was dealing with at the time. In our school we were different, we didn't always have the proper classroom set up, we didn't have bells to let us know when classes were starting or over, and we had our lockers in one area. We also had the jocks, the headbangers, the geeks, the brains, the outcasts and everything else but we got along. Sometimes a jock was a headbanger or an outcast was a brain or maybe a geek was a jock.

So what is available now for kids to read? Are the books offered similar? There just seems to be so many books out there that it can be confusing at times. Are they really good for the girls to read? Are there books about real life? Not just fantasy? I realize they are but it also means that I am going to have to really read them first before I allow my daughter to read them. I do hope that she will read the ones I have from before and that she will enjoy them the same way I did.

If you are interested I did find a link to a website that has some of these old romance books. http://sweetheartsromancebooks.com/

Places to see

I have had a privilege in my life that I was a traveler growing up. By the time I was 8 we had been to Australia twice, Fiji, Mexico, Washington State, California and I think Arizona, plus who knows where in BC and Alberta we had gone. Of course it did help that my mother is from Australia so that is why we went there to see her family. Then she had a friend in Fiji we stayed with them so that meant low cost on accommodations too. When I was a little older we went to Australia again, plus stayed in Hawaii for a week, did a drive through BC to the Calgary Stampede, and to Nova Scotia, PEI and New Brunswick, all before I was 13. This doesn't count all the other side trips we did up and down Vancouver Island and the rest of BC. When I got married it meant moving to Hawaii, from there we went to Washington, back to Hawaii, to California, to Florida, to Singapore, back to Florida and then finally settling in Washington. While in Singapore I was able to go to Japan and Thailand with girlfriends and we also went to Malaysia, Thailand and to Australia. When I go to places I appreciate what they have there, I am all for trying some local food but definitely respecting local beliefs and the culture. I use the chopsticks when eating Asian food, always have toilet paper or wipes in my bag, and I ask locals for information because that can get you into doors that you might not know about. You need to adjust to what you are in not making them adjust to what you want. If it means eating at dumps to get the best tasting meals, being polite, learning some of their language then you do it.

With all this traveling I realized where I want to go and what I want to see. I would love to go to Europe like everyone else but more because I want to see where my family history comes from. But there is so many other places too. Turkey, Tanzania, South Africa, Egypt, Mozambique, Sierra Leone, Seychelles, India, Ceylon, Vietnam, definitely back to Thailand, more of Indonesia, Hong Kong, then South America oh the possibilities, the list doesn't end there. Hmmm you know maybe it would have been easier to do a list of places I don't want to go because that list is a lot shorter.

I really hope that one day I can put my foot down in these places but I know I might not. I can view pictures and use my imagination as to what it would be like there. It makes me smile just like it would if I was there because while asking the locals helps to open doors sometimes so does a smile.

Blogging

I had a blog before but after awhile it just petered out. So I decided that I needed to start another one this time though from a different angle. But you know what it is almost just as hard because while I started out writing all the time, lately I have been stuck for ideas. Then one day I sat down and wrote some out but did that really help? Nope because that was 2 weeks ago and I didn't write a single one. I am jealous of people who are able to write continuously and it doesn't seem that difficult at all for them. (That is my view though because we often know what we see is often very different to what is really going on as it might be just as hard for them) The funny thing is though I used to not have a problem writing, I did it all the time growing up. Creating these poems, writing these stories of what I thought I would be doing or where I thought I would be and so forth when I was a teenager. The pen seemed to go so easily and just flow. I had papers and notebooks and everything else filled with thoughts, with dreams, with ideas. I can laugh at them looking back when I re-read them which makes it just as rewarding in a sense. Now though it doesn't seem to be, I think in all my growing up I stopped from allowing myself to relax, to dream, to use my imagination on what could be. There is nothing wrong with that because we need that in order to really survive.

I mean where we would be in this world if Walt Disney didn't have his imagination? Can you imagine the world without Disney? I can't, I shutter honestly when I consider that could have happened. No Mickey Mouse, no Bambi, no Snow White, no Cinderella, no dreaming that one day our prince would come, no going to a place that allows you to be a kid. This world I think in many ways would be so sad if we didn't have Disney. Who else really changed our world not necessarily in a way that we think about? What would have happened if the ship never landed at Plymouth Rock? Where we would be if Queen Victoria had never reigned? Without Gandhi? Without hockey (okay I'm watching Canucks vs Kings right now please win tonight boys you can't lose 3 games in a row)? And heaven forbid without true football - soccer! All these things have become a part of our lives that often we take for granted. So we do need to sit down and honestly take a look at them sometimes. The true question of where would we be.

In our world, on this day

We are forgetting the true meaning behind it. We are instead focusing on the fact that is it Friday; in many areas the sun is breaking through the clouds after weeks/months of rain; we are quick to drive to work or school stopping at the drive thru coffee place on the way; we are forming weekend plans to do with our family or by ourselves; we are cleaning the house, doing homework, or other things; we are... all these words are WE, ME, I, or OUR. The world of hardknocks it is becoming a ME world, what is in it for ME; What do I get out of it; I can't help you with that; I'm sorry it won't work for ME; WE won't benefit from that; YOU are wrong; etc... When did we start concentrating on ourselves and not others? When did we forget the true meaning of life? When did we become who we are? When did we throw what we had been given by the wayside?

This is a day that occurred around 2,000 years ago when THE Man who brought us another important day in our lives, was betrayed, accused, sentenced and killed for US. He didn't know us, he didn't do anything wrong, but yet he gave his life for us. For us to be forgiven by God for the sins that we do each and every day of our lives. HE forgives us without question when we ask for it. HE allows us to move ahead in our lives. HE gave up HIS only son for us, people he had not yet created. How can we forget that? How can we forget this gift of life and forgiveness? How can we stop ourselves for a moment, for a minute, for an hour, for a day, for a month, for our lives and remember? How can we instead of rushing off somewhere to do something stop and appreciate what is around us? The mountains, the trees, the flowers, the beauty that is created all before us FOR US. A beauty that can never be matched, never replicated, never seen again beyond that one moment in time.

So every today and every tomorrow do that, stop, and say just a few simple words - Thank You God for what you have placed before me. Thank You God for forgiving me for my sins. Thank You God for allowing me to forgive the sins of others against me. Thank You God for giving up your only Son. Thank You God for being by my side as I walk down this path. Thank You God for carrying me when I needed it. Thank You God for my life. Thank You God!

There is a time in your life

where you become so confused, hurt, frustrated, disappointed, angry, violated, and more all in one. You don't know if you need to cry or get mad or maybe it is better if you do both. You have this feeling in the pit of your stomach and you don't know why. You can't sleep, you try not to lose your temper, you are just trying to stay strong for those around you. You don't want to believe that it would happen, that they would do that to you but the evidence is in front of your and you have been dealt a betrayal.

What is betrayal? it is also known as backstabbing and it is when there is a break of trust and confidence which causes a conflict in a relationship which in turn can lead to moral and psychological issues. You cannot understand why it happened in this magnitude, what there is accusations made against you and it does not seem right at all.

All you can do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off and continue on down the path you were walking. You know that you can do and that the first step in being able to walk on your own is forgiveness and you have done it. It is something very hard to do and often harder than what it was dealing with that time in your life but it is necessary. You need to remember that it is better to forgive, forget and move on than to hold it inside of you forever always bringing it back up. You cannot change the past, you can only change your future. God is always walking beside and guiding you but during this time of your life, He is actually carrying you.

Friends

A few years ago a friend gave me a 365 calender that just has dates and sayings on it so you can use it year after year. Today's was "The friend given you by circumstances over which you have no control was God's own gift" by Frederick Robertson. It is true because often you will have someone appear in your life for no reason that makes sense but they become your friend. It could be because you need them at the time or it could be because they need you. These friendships can last forever or be very brief. They can brighten your day, hold you close, help you through thick and thin, make you laugh, and the list continues. Though sometimes you do have to wonder what is a true friend?

That question though was something I came up with today after combining it with the saying from yesterday "Girlfriends are for leaning on, laughing with, and confiding in." As well as something that was mentioned today by someone. Yes you want to confide in a person that you believe is a friend but can you? Can you honestly trust someone that you believe is a friend with just about everything you need to say? Or is the only person you can do that to God? Do you have to keep things hidden from everyone out there? Is is not a place that you want to be in, you do not want to find out that someone you trusted would betray you but unfortunately it does happen. What you have told them in confidence can then be taken by them and told to others or even distorted to become an untruths. You would never want to be in that situation nor do you want to do it to someone yourself. It does happen and unfortunately people are hurt in the process, sometimes it is intentional and other times it is not. I have to have some confidence and trust that I can tell some friends something which will never be repeated. I have to be that way myself in which I keep what each one has told me in confidence as well if that is what is necessary. But when do you draw the line? When do you realize that the trust is broken? When do you realize a friend is not truly a friend? Hopefully you do before it is too late, if not then you live and learn. How you will deal with it? Will you act your age and move on? or will you act like a child again by making it worse? It is part of life is it not, how you handle each situation? You take each situation in its own way, act like an adult, and move on whether the friend is still there or not.

Time ....Family....Life

where does it go? Because I have no idea where the past month has gone, let alone the past year so, wait let's just go back to the last decade or maybe even farther because I have no idea where it all went. It seems to me that when you are a teenager you want to hurry and grow up but when you get to be an adult you want to slow down at times. You want to take the time and enjoy the music, smell the flowers, marvel at the view and spend time with your loved ones. All I know is that later on this year it will be my 25th High School Reunion and part of me can't wait because many I haven't seen since graduation but the other part is saying Holy Crap 25 years!!

Family...in my house growing up family wasn't just those who were related by blood, it was those around you as well. Friends can be consider family and sometimes you can hold them closer. As my mother was an immigrant to Canada her family was thousands of kilometers/miles away and so they were not seen that often. That meant that during the holidays there was others around us and that made it so interesting. Looking back fondly at those memories I don't know all that happened just that it puts a smile on my face when I think of our neighbors and friends playing the parcel game, Rummoli, bagging pots & pans at New Years, and the list continues. Doing all that prepared me for when I got married to a Navy guy. So many times it wasn't "family" at the holidays but friends. Those friends are so important to me and the kids in our lives at times and I know we are in theirs. We became our own family, our own Ohana, which means family and no one gets left behind.

Life. There is always going to be good times and bad times in your life. At times it will seem like it is taking forever, there is no tomorrow, too many bad times, and no light at the end of the tunnel. That things which are happening to you are not fair and you did nothing wrong, that something came out of nowhere which you never expected. BUT there is the good times which will outweigh the bad, there are things that are fair because justice will prevail, there is a light for there is an end you just might not see it right now, and tomorrow will come you just have to get through today one moment at a time. You can do it, you can survive, for your Ohana is there.

Homework, music, movies, & TV shows

The other day while working on writing out the key words for my sociology class (funnily enough the subject was on Recreation & Leisure in Everyday Life) I was listening to music on my iPod. Not just any music but a mix of the past and much was around the time I would have been doing homework for school but then it was high school. There was Congo by Miami Sound Machine; Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Springsteen; Hit Me With Your Best Shot by Pat Benetar; Shout by Tears for Fears; Walking on Sunshine by Katrina & the Waves; Eye of the Tiger by Survivor; Wanted Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi; and even Good Vibrations by Marky Mark. The list keeps on going to include a little bit of Rock, some Heavy Metal, a bit of Old School and even some Rap. You could even say the line - a little bit of country and a little bit of rock n roll to a point. That is who I am I like a variety of music because I find so many interesting and enjoyable to listen to. Just like I grew up watching Fred Astaire & Ginger Rogers or Indiana Jones or Luke Skywalker, had a crush on Elvis, and listening to the Beach Boys (who if you didn't know are celebrating their 50th Anniversary together and even doing a concert tour which I would LOVE to go to with the kids). It is proved to me in many ways that while we might have been limited in what we could do compared to today's world of media we weren't. Our generation was the one where classics and new things were mixed together without problem. Where it was alright to have an appreciation for a wide variety of music and even movies to watch. Back then in movies they were rated G, PG or R not all the categories they have now. But when in the theaters they lasted for months not a few weeks so had a higher variety of viewers and made more money in the end.

But that time must have been worth a lot because so many movies are now be re-released on DVDs. The bands are still performing (someone I know went to Van Halen and I have seen advertisements for Journey) to sell out crowds of young and old alike. The TV Shows are being made into movies like 21 Jump Street. The teenage actors from then are still going strong like George Clooney who was on Facts of Life; Johnny Depp from 21 Jump Street; Patrick Dempsey now on Grey's Anatomy and in some ways better looking. The question now though is when do we stop trying to bring the past to our present? When do we stop trying to rule the world with memories. When do we turn ourselves forward going down the path in front of us not the one behind us? Yes it is good to have fond memories of what we did, where we went and our friends, but that goes only to a point. Then we are better to try and make new memories where we can Shout while Dancing in the Dark after Walking in Sunshine, Hitting them with our Best Shot, and becoming a Survivor.

Who has control of the remote control in your house?

That is a question that is not always asked but should be a basic question. Because it is something that does happen in every household especially when you have children. This little thing that runs on batteries seems to take control over everyone. It starts arguments, it starts disagreements, it starts voices becoming louder, all over what to watch. Every 15 to 30 minutes there is an argument over what to watch next, whether to mute during commercials, and whether to change channels during commercials. why does he get to pick? why does she get to pick? Why, why, why, why. Why does this happen continuously and drive the mother up the wall. How would the children of today survived in our world? You know back in the stone age.

If you are above 40 then you lived in the time where you had 1 TV in the house, it had between 6 to 12 channels and when you wanted to change the channel you had to get up from your couch/chair and do it by a little dial. You also didn't usually eat in front of the TV (unless it was Saturday night when Hockey Night in Canada was on and it was the ONLY night you could) The channels were limited as well, you had the basic news channels, PBS of course that had all children's shows, and then a few others as well and cartoons on Saturday mornings. The shows at night were shows a family could watch - Starsky & Hutch; CHiPs, Charlie's Angels, Dallas, Brady Bunch, Facts of Life, Different Strokes, etc... (Many of which have now been made into movies which can be good but also can be scary).

There is now TOO many TV channels to choose from, too many shows for kids to watch, too many commercials, too many of everything. All boiling down again to the question who controls the remote control. When is it time to put a limit on the amount of TV the kids watch and to influence them in a better way. Making sure they concentrate on homework, make sure they read books, make sure they get out an exercise, make sure you do have family game nights, make sure that the amount of TV they watch is not too much and what TV shows the children watch are good for them.

So this is bringing me back on subject. I AM TAKING CONTROL OF THE REMOTE CONTROL!!! It won't be my son, it won't be my daughter, it will be ME. This also brings up the time limit of TV they will now have. When they have their own TVs and are paying their own bills, then they can get control of their own remote control.

Weight, Food & Serving Size

Food size in the US vs Overseas

Have you noticed how more people in the US are now overweight? It isn’t just adults but children too and it has become a concern of many. I have to admit that I was never skinny growing up but I wasn’t overweight, I was normal. But now I could be smaller, so I am working on it, one small step at a time. I didn’t gain that much weight when I was pregnant I had in fact gained it before I was. It was the convenience of fast food down the street when at home, the constant snacks while eating, pizza, Mrs Fields Cookies, take out from a small restaurant and other things instead of eating better. I could have and should have but I can't change that what I have done in the past. Instead all I can work on is the future. I do eat better now and so do the kids.

But it was also other things and something that has been growing as well in the US which has caused our weight size to grow, the size of plates, cups, bowls, in other words the size of servings. Plates are now at least 12 inches in diameter or larger instead of 10 inches. When you eat pasta at many restaurants it isn’t a standard serving size it is enough for two because it is a plate bowl. The smallest Chicken McNugget meal you can get at McDonalds for an adult is 10 pieces, with medium fries and a drink. So even the drinks are larger, a cup of coffee is no longer a cup of 8 ozs but over double in size. A bottle of soda/pop is now 20 ozs instead of the size of a can which is around 12 ozs. All these things add up and add to our waist. So the question is can you stop when you are full or is that nagging from mom of “Clean your plate, do you know how many starving people there are in Africa/India/China” still in your head? Often it is the later and we feel forced to eat everything on our plate or in our meal. Instead of just saying no and walking away.

The convenience of fast food isn’t just in the US it is also overseas. Most countries have McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Starbucks and every other fast food/name brand product. But while they have those foods and it is affecting some waist lines it isn't going the way it is here in the US. Let me give you an example of what is done in some places. In Singapore they believe in hard work and often it is easier and cheaper to get take out on the way home, especially if when manual labor often means 12 hours shifts 5 and even 6 days a week. So McDonalds delivers to your house, yup you heard it right you can order online or over the phone and within 30 to 45 minutes McDonald’s will be at your door. But isn’t something that should be offered in the US (it is being tested in some areas and I honestly think it is a BIG MISTAKE)and you want to know why? Two words and can you imagine what they are??? SERVING SIZE!! The largest meal that you can order when it comes to Chicken McNuggets is 6 pieces, yup just 6 pieces. The large serving of fries is the US medium and the same with the drink. So they are able to offer it to you but smaller and a better amount to eat. But it isn’t just in Fast Food it is in the size of products you buy overseas. Chickens there is 1/2 the size of what it is in the US. It would take 2 or even 3 pieces of chicken breast in Singapore to equal one in the US. It isn't just in Singapore it is in other areas that I have gone to as well.

What does that mean are in our products? Are those helping us to become overweight too? Why are we forcing ourselves to eat so much more when there isn’t a need because what it is doing to our bodies? Do you really look at the calories listed on the box and understand what the true serving size is? I am so concerned with what this is telling our children and what they are eating and doing. It isn’t just eating but the lack of exercise & playing, instead many are spending time in front the TV watching it or playing video games or online. Yes it is a serious problem in the US and some other countries, and there is varying statistics for how many adults are overweight but it is way more than it was in the 80s and even the 90s. Children are a concern as well because they are heading that way as well. Look at the movie Wall-E because that could be where we are heading. Is that something we really want to be? As I stated I am not the slender person I was before and I have gone up and down over the years never getting back to before. But I am working on it and making sure the kids are as well. Better meals, smaller portions, fast food occasionally but not constantly and never tell the kids “Do you know how many starving people there are in ?????

What is abuse?

Abuse is something you never want to talk about, it is something you never want to hear about, and it is something that you swear you will never allow to happen to you. But unfortunately it is something that does happen more frequently than you would imagine and to people you know. What is abuse? When you hear that question you automatically think of being hit, slaps, punches, etc... But it is NOT. Abuse can also include emotion, economical, psychological, verbal and mental. According to the US Office on Violence Against Women (OVW) domestic violence is the "pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner It "can happen to anyone regardless of race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender", and can include physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional, economic, and psychological abuse.

With those in the military sometimes it can stem from what they have gone through especially with multiple deployments and no diagnosis of PTSD. The mood swings, the emotional changes, the expectations, the stress, and everything else can bottle up and come out one day out of no where. There is help if it is needed that you can get what you have to do is take the first step to getting it. You are not alone, it is not your fault, you are not what he/she makes you to be. You can be a better person if you just realize that the best option is to get out of the relationship whether temporary or permanent.

The following information is available on multiple forums/boards and will give you links to where you can get help.

Domestic Violence is not a subject that we like to hear about or go through. Unfortunately it is something that is happening in the military because of several factors including PTSD. There is help out there if you do need it.

Definition of Domestic Violence - is a pattern of many behaviors directed at achieving and maintaining power and control over an intimate partner, such as physical violence, emotional abuse, isolation of the victim, economic abuse, intimidation, and coercion and threats.

If someone is abusing you or someone in your household, you do not have to accept it—even if your spouse is the abuser. The police and courts can help you stop the abuse.

Each branch of the military has a program that can respond to domestic violence cases and is often the first place for members and families in this situation to go before seeking help from the civil or criminal courts. Such programs offer counseling and command involvement for incidents of domestic violence.

If you are in a situation in your marriage where there is domestic violence taking place (which can include economic, verbal, mental, emotional and physical abuse) then there is help.

If you and your spouse live on base (or even if you do not) you may be able to get a Military Protective Order which functions similarly to a protective order issued by civilian authorities. Make sure that the Military Protective Order is forwarded to civilian authorities and any protective orders issued by civilian authorities are forwarded to the Military Police. Both types of orders may be enforceable on and off a military installation depending on how they are prepared and the procedures followed.



http://www.americanbar.org/portals/public_resources/aba_home_front/information_center/family_law/domestic_violence/impact_of_military_service.html - this is a place to start where it will give you some ideas on what can help you.

The following are other links that can help you as well:


http://www.thehotline.org - National Domestic Violence Hotline - this includes a confidential weblink to the site that is protected

http://www.americanbar.org/groups/domestic_violence.html - American Bar Association Commission on Domestic Violence

http://www.ovw.usdog.gov - US Department of Justice Office on Domestic Violence Against Women (just like the phone line confidential and it will not be viewable on your computer history)

Who are you?

I mean really when you are looking at your self what are you looking at? Are you looking at yourself the way you believe other people are looking at you? Are you looking at yourself the way you think you look? Or are you looking at yourself the way you REALLY are? During our lives we will view ourselves in the mirrors so many different ways and more often than not they are not the way we look at all. We sometimes look at ourselves the way we think people look at us because we think we know what they are saying. Even though 99% of the time what they are thinking is so different to what we think it is. We can't read their minds and they can't read ours (okay moms are the exception on this one because we all swear they can and have eyes in the back of their heads) We look at ourselves as looking ugly, too fat, too skinny, the wrong size in all the wrong places, the wrong skin color and everything else. So we use clothes, makeup, surgery, hair color, and who knows what else to make ourselves look different. All these things we do so we stand out, let people notice us, and make a good impression even though all those things are not necessary at all.

What does that mean? We are own worse critic. If we honestly looked at ourselves in the true manner then we would see an incredible person, who is beautiful/handsome, fun to be around, a friend, a lover, a role model, an inspiration, a scholar, and an special individual. For that is who we really are. We just have to remember that, as the old saying goes, beauty is within.

I have chosen this picture because it is something that I look at myself when I need to lately seems more than before with things that have happened. It reminds me of the simple things in life, the innocence, the honest beauty that is around us which we often forget. A place without the commercials, the makeup, the attempt to stand out. Instead it reminds me that I just have to be me, nothing more.

What is our world coming to

because right now I am feeling so lost in what is happening to it. We live in a small town that isn't on the outskirts of a big city but still close enough. We have a strong military presence. We are surrounded by greenery, trees, parks, and mountains that when viewed wash away the gray day feelings. But our small county has been hit really hard in the past few days, even the months before that it seem to have problems too.

Incident #1 - Tuesday night a man calls 911 and turns himself into police for killing an older man.

Incident #2 - Wednesday afternoon an 8 year old girl gets SHOT while in school getting ready to leave. The gun was in the backpack of a 9 year old boy. Yes NINE years old and he has a gun. Apparently he was trying to run away from home and got the gun when visiting his mom this past weekend. He is going to be charged with 3rd degree assault, unlawful possession of a firearm, and bringing a weapon onto school property. (Note this is the THIRD incident this school year that a gun was brought onto school property, 2 other cases happened on different days at different schools by different students).

Incident #3 - Thursday morning a State Trooper was killed when he did a routine traffic stop. They spent the morning searching for the suspect while a family, co-workers, and community mourned the loss of a good man. There was a suspect and he apparently killed himself this morning as police were going to enter his residence.

The scary part is that it didn't start with just these, there has been another murder that is linked to a murder and attempted murder last year; several robberies; attempted robberies; a man shot by police after receiving 911 calls after shots fired; selling of drugs; embezzlement; selling illegal firearms; fires; and the list continues IN THE MONTH OF FEBRUARY alone. Yes we do have incidents like this happen in our county but NOT in the span of 1 month and that hasn't even added in all the things that happened in January or in 2011.

Nor does this talk about all the things that are happening outside our county, what is happening in other areas, big cities where crime was already a problem. This doesn't still answer the question of what is our world coming to. If anything it makes you reflect and ask this question instead...is this a sign from our Heavenly Father?

Yesteryear

This summer will be my 25th High School Reunion. Am I excited about it? Yes in some ways I am because I wasn't able to make it to the other ones before. It will be great to see some of my classmates beyond what I see on Facebook. There was some incredible times in school because in our school we were treated as adults, so we acted that way. We didn't have bells ending classes or telling us to go to another class, our lockers were in a common area, and some classrooms were just separated by foam boards, not actual standard walls. Yes we had jocks, headbangers, nerds, etc.. but you know what we all got along with each other, we were not separated like many are today because of their "class" in society. Yes there was also some "enemies" when in school people we didnt all get along with. But as we grew up really so did our attitudes. We worked beyond it and are now friends because we realized it was over something stupid 99.9999% of the time.

With all these reunions, bringing back clothes & styles from before, re-doing classic movies from that time, rereleasing songs all make me wonder why it is happening? Is it because those 80s were actually a really good decade? We had that technology starting up; we had the innocence but not; the tv shows on were family oriented; the entertainment was incredible in music and movies; and the lists continue. But we can never bring that back, we can never recreate that time again even though we want to, and we can never be young again except in our hearts and our memories. Sometimes we need to remember that in order to keep ourselves from falling back into the same old grove. We need to remember to keep walking forward. We need to make strides towards where we are heading for or where we can continue being.

Not every woman....

Not every woman has the grace of going back to before baby weight or whose hips haven't adjusted.

Not every woman has ever fit into sizes below 8 either.

Not every woman wants to wear jeans and T-shirts all the time.

Not every woman wants to have clothes that even her mother or grandmother refuse to wear.

Not every woman wants to dress up fancy.

Not every woman wants or can spend big bucks to buy good clothing.

Not every woman wants to wear clothes that take her back to her teenage years.

Do you get where this message is going?? Yes clothes. Why is it so difficult to find clothes these days for the standard normal woman? When I say normal woman I mean over the age of 25 but younger than 90 and not a size 0. I am not dishing those women at all, I have some who are friends and family and I love them. I wish I could be like that but I can't nor do I want to in some ways. Yes I did gain weight after I got married and I am working to get closer back to it again. But all in all my clothing size hasn't changed much it is still between 10 and 12 depending on the cut. The choices that we have to wear are so limited at times and it becomes so frustrating.

Am I asking too much?? For reasonably priced clothes? Casual but a little dressy? Not flashy but not contemporary? Can fit the normal average woman to make her look and feel good? Something that doesn't fall apart after a few washings?

I know I am dreaming because this isn't something new at all, it has been going on for the last decade or so and I know I am not the only one that feels this way at all. I have talked to friends and they feel the same way too. I mean I love wearing jeans and a t-shirt but I want something beyond that. Am I asking too much??? I don't think so. And it also brings to fact that maybe part of the problem is that when we see advertisements for clothes the models are ladies who in so many ways are not average.

ETA: Today I saw this article on Yahoo news about the fact that in the US most women are size 14 and a commercial by Levi Jeans. Brings to point that what we see on TV, magazines, etc. is not the normal everyday person, especially a woman http://shine.yahoo.com/fashion/jeans-ad-sparks-controversy-levis-models-come-other-202400157.html

Two things

First do you remember talking to your imaginary friend as a child? Sometimes we had them and sometimes we didn't. We were told that we had to stop talking to them, that we had to grow up and needed to find real friends. So as adults there are people that have now been put into hospitals or institutions, put in straight jackets, put on meds and are told they are crazy because they talk to themselves. But why are they there and called that but we do it and are called normal? I mean we talk to ourselves while in the car and another person cuts us off or is driving to slow or is tailgating us. We can talk to ourselves when we are walking down the street, when we are trying to figure out a problem, when we are cleaning, when we are cooking, when we are alone and just about any other time in our life. I say this because I found myself tonight on the way to the movie theater talking to myself about the car in front of me. I stopped and then just shook my head thinking about how dumb it was. It also gave me an idea to write about it tonight, seeing we are supposedly going looney when we go over the age of 40. It also make me wonder just how normal are we? What exactly is normal?

Second if you get a chance go see the movie "This Means War" starring Reese Witherspoon, Chris Pine, and Tom Hardy. It is an action comedy so it fits both a chick flick and a guy movie and I really wish they made more like this. I love Reese in movies, bubbly personality, makes you laugh and she is a great actress. Then Chris Pine with his incredible blue eyes and a smile that can melt anyone (who if you didn't know his dad is Robert Pine who played Sarge in CHiPs another awesome series and they actually even mention the show in the movie) who I can't wait to see in the next Star Trek movie. Then there is the newbie Tom Hardy a Brit that has burst onto the action movie scene with Warrior and now this, but apparently does have a softer side to him somewhere. All in all, GREAT movie, laughing so hard it brought tears to my eyes at times and the crowd loved it as well. It is one I will definitely be buying on DVD when it comes out.

But the one thing it did go to was a side that you don't see often, a woman dating two men at the same time. It seems to me almost a double standard still like an older woman with a younger man. It seems men can do it with playing the field and then they get the slap on the back and told "cool dude," "way to go," and the good old standby "What a man!!". But if a woman does it then it isn't acceptable at all, she can be called all sorts of names that aren't something you would say to your mother. Why is that? Why is it okay for guys to do it but not women? Now I am not saying that it is something that everyone should do but the fact that no matter how far we have advanced in our way of life, our technology, and our society, things that women do are still no longer allowed when it should be. What will it take for them to be accepted more?

Education

There was a time when you could get away with one or the other to get a decent job. Sometimes the experience was better than an education you could have received because it was hands on. Other times that education was better because you were up to date on things that were necessary. These days as our world advances in technology, so do the expectations of being employed. I never dreamed that I would have such a problem in finding a job beyond working at McDonalds or a Department Store or another minimum wage job in the world today. I thought that while it might be a little bit hard it would not be impossible. But it has become that way and I am not alone as there is so many people who are my in my generation and above that are going through the same problem. Many of these people have been laid off from jobs they had a long time. Or they are moms who are trying to go back to work as their kids have grown. Or maybe it is military wives/ex-wives who didn't have a chance before because of the constant moving and being a mother/father during long deployments. Plus adding into it the tuition, the books needed, the requirement to go back to basics (math/english), paying for child care or working around the schedule and the list continues.

Those are not excuses for not having a degree but they are factors, over time these factors do add up and sometimes that is what stops the employment from happening. Education is important for everyone and I have lucky in that when I was 19/20 I did an Office Administration course which were able to transfer to the local community college that I transferred to along with some other online classes I have did when the kids and I were in Florida for a year. But I still had to go back to the basics of Math and English things I haven't done in years. The good news is now that I can help my kids with their homework when before I was going "HUH????" All this helped towards me qualifying for an Associates of the Arts (couldn't decide then along with transfer credits) Where will that get me now? Well a small step in the door but awhile to go before I can do something I want to. What is that?

Help others in my situation. I honestly wish there was a grant/scholarship available to people in this area, they need help going back to school but also to pay the bills at home. Why can't there be a grant/scholarship that pays for your tuition, books & supplies but also the rent, utilities, & gas to get to school. Offer help in finding employment, counseling, things that are needed. I would love to set up a fund for that, with the stipulation that it has to be paid forward whether it is a donation back to the scholarship or by doing volunteer work. Available to people who can't afford college but aren't able to qualify for help either. Wouldn't that be wonderful? Something to really consider as I continue to walk down that path that I am being lead down.

Being an Aunt

Aunts can be special women in your lives. They can help you grow up, take you to movies, parks, or any other treat and spoil you rotten when they have the chance. They can be a good influence in your life as well because you see them as a grown up (usually), see what women can achieve in their lives, and be an inspiration to do things that you did not always think were possible. They can be your sounding block, to bounce your ideas off of. They can advise you in certain things especially if they need an honest opinion. They can also be your confidant. The person that you can call anytime of day or night without question, tell things to and know that you can trust them.

Being an Aunt sounds like a big job and it is at times. It can be complex while being innocent, hard while being great, frustrating but complete. But you know what I wouldn't trade it for the world.


When I was 13 I became an Aunt, a few months later shortly after my 14th birthday I became an Aunt again. In both cases they were very special beautiful baby girls. At 15 I became an Aunt again to another girl, 2 years later the count was Girls 5, Boys 0 that was until February when a nephew finally joined. Four years later another boy so Boys 2, Girls 5 it looked like there could be a catch up especially when one sister and my sister in law were due within months of each other. But sorry boys, it became Boys 2, Girls 7!!! Finally though another boy joined the mist, then my own son, then another boy, and another boy it looked like it was getting close. Well on the same day my daughter was born, so was a niece (4 hours apart). Finally my sister closes out the realms a year later with twin girls. Bringing that total to Girls 10; Boys 5! Sorry boys the only way it looked like they could catch up was through marriage because my oldest niece got married. It wasn't long before another one did and another one and another one and another one, so 5 of my girls got married and evened it up so now it is 10 and 10. Well marriage means more babies so then I became a GREAT AUNT!! Sniff that was hard to take, my babies were having babies!!! I mean I knew I was great but now it was confirmed but with one boy, then another, a girl, then a boy so now it was Boys 13; Girls 11. Guess 13 is an unlucky number for the boys because the other day on February 13th I became an Aunt again to a precious little girl.

Through all of this, I love each and every one (even the nephews in law) because they are unique in their own special way. I don't get to see them as much as I would like to. I was able to as a teenager and young adult spend a lot of time with the older ones and I honestly do wish that I could have spent more time with the younger ones some of which are teenagers now. But miles kept us apart so the time we do have together is very precious. Being a Great Aunt has taken new meaning in the past few years. I was a great Aunt before but now it is done by my babies having babies. Watching their babies and my own kids grow up has made me realize how special time can be. Seeing their smile, a glint of mischief in their eyes, watching the sleep, or seeing them accomplish something. All of these things adds another precious memory to my mind. This is one part of being over 40 years old that I would never change.

My Wii is right!

Want to know why? Because today according to the Wii Fit Plus I am really 33 :) One day last week it told me I was 21 in fact except for a few days it always tells me that I am younger than my age through the daily fitness test. (Of course it also helped that it told my son who is 13 that he was 24! That would have meant I was 9 when I had him which in some ways women love to hear that they don't look old enough to have a child that age) So see here is another reason to believe that you still have life after 40. Because while you might be 40 and above in age it doesn't mean that you have to be that way mentally or physically.

I am a strong believer in the saying you are always a child in your heart. I think it is important to do that at times. To stop thinking about things in the complicated adult manner, to remember what it was like as a child, to have some of the innocence back, have dreams, and most important to have an imagination. As a parent you are always trying to be an adult we can easily forget about that. We can try to be too responsible, to strict, to much of a parent not remembering what it was like to be a child. We need to bring ourselves down to their level sometimes not just in height but in manner. If that means to play a video game, tickle them senseless, play a board game, throw a snowball or anything else and be a kid ourselves. Especially in our world today when there seems to be so much more required mentally, physically and emotionally for a child compared to when we were growing up. Don't you remember the days of playing outside until it got dark, riding our bikes everywhere, playing kick-the-can, only have 13 channels if you were lucky on the TV you had to get up and change the channel, and when the house only had one phone.

Oh to be a kid again sometimes it sounds like wishful thinking but is it really? Is it wrong to remember those good old days? Is it wrong to have that imagination back? is it wrong to want to be a kid? No of course not because you are always a kid at heart.

What is up with the remakes?

Growing up in the 70s and 80s there was great TV programs and movies. I guess they were so great that in today's society they are being remade. Why I have no idea. Why ruin a masterpiece? Why try to take a classic and redo it? Why are have you stopped using your own ideas for movies? Have people become so desperate for a time when things seemed so good, so easy, so clean, so innocent that they want to bring it back. The following is a link to a list of 50 (YES 50!!) movies that have been remade or are being considered. Some of which just blow me away because you really do have to ask why again and again and again. http://www.nextmovie.com/blog/upcoming-movie-remakes/

Then there is the TV shows that are being made into movies which isn't something new but it will be interesting to see how they go. There was some good ones in the past that have been done with taste compared to those ones that were not done right at all. My example is Dukes of Hazzard, it was a great TV show, but the movie bite the bullet and stunk. The only decent part was Willie Nelson playing Uncle Jesse Daisy Duke will always be a brunette not Jessica Simpson. If they had really wanted this movie to be done the right way then they should have picked the Wilson brothers (Owen and Luke) to play Bo and Luke Duke. Then for Daisy maybe someone like Courtenay Cox would have been so much better. I would have watched it then.

Would you like to know I wrote about this subject today? That is because while watching TV with the kids in one of the new shows Victorious on Nickelodeon there was spoof of the Breakfast Club called the Breakfast Bunch. There was so many things in it I had to admit I laughed so hard at times. They took it in the way it could be done, quick 30 minute show that used their talents including the remake of the song.

But sometimes things are better off left alone, not remade, not re-released with other things in it, just left the way it was done the first time and age with grace....a classic. Which is what you can be after you turn 40, not remade, not "re-released", just aging with grace becoming a classic.

Contrary to belief

you don't die when you turn the age of 40, you don't automatically lose hair, get wrinkles, sag all over, qualify for Social Security or anything else. Although according to the "kid" in my Sociology class this week we are old when he was describing how he was offering to help this "old" lady pump gas one day. When asked how old (many of us picturing a woman in her 60s/70s) he said her 30s/40s. Let's just say heads were shaken, a few boos and even the Professors rolled her eyes because she is in her 30s. If teenagers think the 30s/40s are old age what do they think people twice that age are dead?

The age of Aquarius, Woodstock, man landing on the moon, JFK, Martin Luther King Jr, Twiggy, and don't forget Sesame Street started and it keeps on going all things that happened in the 60s, 40 years ago. You can look at women in their 40s right now - Halle Berry (1966); Julia Roberts (1967); Nicole Kidman (1967); Courtenay Cox (1964); and Sarah Jessica Parker (1965). Many of these ladies we watched in movies so they were growing up as we did and how we wanted to be in their shoes sometimes. They went from young beautiful young ladies to knockout women who still have it all. Then there is the guys, who would think that the geek/young Randy from Loverboy would turn into McDreamy on Grey's Anatomy (Patrick Dempsy who is in his 40s). Then there is Johnny Depp bad boy from 21 Jump Street to bad boy Pirate; George Clooney young teenager in Facts of Life to major movies; babyface Chris O'Donnell; and the list keeps on going. I honestly think that these men look better in their 40s than they did in their 20s.

Is that not then more proof that life really can begin in the 40s? So you have to look at your age like you would a glass of water. Is the glass half-empty or half-filled?? In my mind it is half-filled because when you look at it at 40 you still haven't lived half your life yet so you still have time to do those things you did dream of but haven't had time to do. Madonna definitely proved that when she performed last weekend at the Super Bowl, singing and dancing all over the stage and she is 53! If she can do that, then I can do anything! So I am definitely going to start living a lot more now that I have gone over the age of 40!