What is abuse?

Abuse is something you never want to talk about, it is something you never want to hear about, and it is something that you swear you will never allow to happen to you. But unfortunately it is something that does happen more frequently than you would imagine and to people you know. What is abuse? When you hear that question you automatically think of being hit, slaps, punches, etc... But it is NOT. Abuse can also include emotion, economical, psychological, verbal and mental. According to the US Office on Violence Against Women (OVW) domestic violence is the "pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner It "can happen to anyone regardless of race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender", and can include physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional, economic, and psychological abuse.

With those in the military sometimes it can stem from what they have gone through especially with multiple deployments and no diagnosis of PTSD. The mood swings, the emotional changes, the expectations, the stress, and everything else can bottle up and come out one day out of no where. There is help if it is needed that you can get what you have to do is take the first step to getting it. You are not alone, it is not your fault, you are not what he/she makes you to be. You can be a better person if you just realize that the best option is to get out of the relationship whether temporary or permanent.

The following information is available on multiple forums/boards and will give you links to where you can get help.

Domestic Violence is not a subject that we like to hear about or go through. Unfortunately it is something that is happening in the military because of several factors including PTSD. There is help out there if you do need it.

Definition of Domestic Violence - is a pattern of many behaviors directed at achieving and maintaining power and control over an intimate partner, such as physical violence, emotional abuse, isolation of the victim, economic abuse, intimidation, and coercion and threats.

If someone is abusing you or someone in your household, you do not have to accept it—even if your spouse is the abuser. The police and courts can help you stop the abuse.

Each branch of the military has a program that can respond to domestic violence cases and is often the first place for members and families in this situation to go before seeking help from the civil or criminal courts. Such programs offer counseling and command involvement for incidents of domestic violence.

If you are in a situation in your marriage where there is domestic violence taking place (which can include economic, verbal, mental, emotional and physical abuse) then there is help.

If you and your spouse live on base (or even if you do not) you may be able to get a Military Protective Order which functions similarly to a protective order issued by civilian authorities. Make sure that the Military Protective Order is forwarded to civilian authorities and any protective orders issued by civilian authorities are forwarded to the Military Police. Both types of orders may be enforceable on and off a military installation depending on how they are prepared and the procedures followed.



http://www.americanbar.org/portals/public_resources/aba_home_front/information_center/family_law/domestic_violence/impact_of_military_service.html - this is a place to start where it will give you some ideas on what can help you.

The following are other links that can help you as well:


http://www.thehotline.org - National Domestic Violence Hotline - this includes a confidential weblink to the site that is protected

http://www.americanbar.org/groups/domestic_violence.html - American Bar Association Commission on Domestic Violence

http://www.ovw.usdog.gov - US Department of Justice Office on Domestic Violence Against Women (just like the phone line confidential and it will not be viewable on your computer history)